Ohio State is a big deal in the Big Ten. It's a hard- living, fast- driving, take-no-prisoners action flick. There are glow sticks. There is a Tupperware party in the league.
Maybe the state of Michigan.
It's difficult to lump them into the rest of the Big Ten pack because of their 41-17 win over Penn State. Even though we're not quite sure how different they are, they are. It's clear that Michigan was the better team Saturday. It was a close call that Penn State scored 17 points. The Nittany Lions only held the ball for 18 minutes and 50 seconds.
The Michigan ground game was the real fireworks. There was a man running for 173. The man ran for 166. Both ran over 60 yards. The formula for running their monster backs into a brick wall is to know that the wall will give up eventually.
It's fair to ask if Michigan's formula is good enough to win at the highest level.
Ohio State is a great place to visit. It's oddly interesting that Michigan feels like its coach's preferred pants, not quite formal, not quite casual, completely functional and bland.
That was all that was left last year. When it worked, Ohio State's flash was amazing, but when it didn't, a train wreck occurred. It was intriguing.
Michigan was boring and predictable, but it was enough to make it to the playoffs. Jim Harbaugh went through the motions of a QB battle perfectly designed to achieve the desired result after it was obvious that improvement was needed. Michigan is once again good and reliable thanks to the same formula it used a year ago.
If you want to see how the Big Ten stacks up, you need to look through a freezer full of ice cream. There is a tub of hot fudge and sprinkles in Ohio State. What is the state of Michigan? It's clear that this isn't vanilla. Is it possible that it's French vanilla?
The victory of Penn State was a statement. Michigan stands out from the crowd in the second-richest conference in the country. It's a team that made the College Football Playoff a year ago, then was almost forgotten in the off-season, only to come back with a bunch of wins against cupcakes. Are we ready to put Michigan on the same tier as Ohio State?
We might be the problem. Maybe we are fools and Ohio State polishes its chrome with the best of them. Maybe we can't appreciate the physical approach of the Wolverines.
After all, the Big Ten is about to cash a $1-billion-a-year TV check in exchange for long field goal drives. Certainly there's an audience, and perhaps we don't have the right set up.
Maybe the result of Michigan's win over Penn State isn't to suggest that the team is ready to face off against South Carolina in the playoffs. We're all going to have to keep watching as Michigan is 0-7, but perhaps all that needs to be said is that it's a good team.
At the halfway point of the season, it's time to take a look at some of the storylines that have defined the campaign. Put on your tuxedo t-shirt, pour yourself a tall Miller High Life, and settle in for our very formal presentation of the best of the season.
The best second-string quarterback is the one from TCU.
Is it possible that he could go from opening the season on the bench to earning an invite to the ceremony at the end of the season? After losing the starting quarterback job to Chandler Morris, Duggan has emerged as one of the country's most prolific players, with 16 passing touchdown and four rushing scores. The Horned Frogs erased a 14-point fourth-quarter deficit to beat Oklahoma State 43-40 in double overtime on Saturday.
The JMA Wireless Dome is the best new name for a stadium.
In order to change its fortunes, Syracuse changed the name of its home stadium. The Orange went to 6-0 for the first time in 27 years after beating NC State 24-9 on Saturday. JMA Wireless is the only company that will provide service for Jim Boeheim's brick mobile that he first bought in 1987. The time is a circle.
SamPittman was the best party guest.
The school's code of conduct prohibits them from serving up any of Pittman's favorites. Pittman left a case of O'Douls in the locker room because he was good at partying.
The worst preseason prediction was made by ClarkLea.
The best team in America will be the Commodores, according to Lea.
The Vandy team lost to Georgia on Saturday by a score of 55 0. There's still time for Clark to be proven correct, but by the time it happens, there's a good chance that Stetson Bennet V will take over the offense.
Firing your coach is one of the best new trends.
Colorado took a week off and won its first game of the season with a 20-13 overtime victory over California. Five teams have made changes to their coaching staff. Prior to the firings, those teams were a combined 0-15 against the highest level of college sports. They're 7-4. Almost all of the teams that parted ways with their coaches before October last year are in a better place now. The evidence is irrefutable. Write a big check and win a lot of games. Someone tells someone else.
Venables won a Big 12 game Saturday. You finished a 96-ounce steak, so you got your dinner free. It's a win, but there's going to be some vomit.
The Sooners racked up 701 yards of offense, their most in a Big 12 game in over a year. The bad news is that.
The good news for Venables is that the Sooners have allowed 40 or more in four of their last five games.
Venables rubbed the lamp of the evil genie in this season's "Twilight Zone" episode. He returned to Oklahoma as head coach after a decade at the helm of the defensive side of the ball. What is the price? His defense will make the other guy look bad.
Sooners fans can still remind Texas that they actually beat Kansas even though they lost last week, because a win is a win.
There are only two teams outside the Power 5 that are still perfect. They didn't tell the Chanticleers' defense.
It was not enough for the quarterback to throw for 358 yards and three touchdown in the loss.
The running back for Old Monarch carried the ball 18 times and scored three times.
On the 67-yard run that put ODU up 42-21,Watson hit a crowd of Chanticleers defenders, who each stumbled and flailed like a guy trying to make his way to the bar at Ocean Annie's.
The goal line is crossed for a touchdown.
A quarterback who looks like he played base for Foreigner in the early 1980s threw a touchdown pass to a receiver who looks like he played rhythm guitar for.38 Special, and the receiver celebrated with a big cow.
Jordan Whittington scored a touchdown and celebrated with Bevo.
On the last drive of the game, Iowa State's quarterback fumbled deep into Texas territory, which was recovered by the Longhorns. Iowa State lost 24-21 to Iowa State, but for those who had the Cyclones +25.5, it was not a big deal. Matt Campbell's run of success as a touchdown favorite in the Big 12 continues to be a foregone conclusion. In its last 16 games, Iowa State has covered in 15 of them.
Syracuse has hit the over at the halfway point of the season after their 24-9 win over NC State. Syracuse is one of four teams to have surpassed preseason predictions.
Tennessee fans celebrated in other parts of the state. There was a $100,000 bet on the Volunteers to win. The return will buy a cigar.
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