At the Wharton School, Taheripour teaches how to have better business conversations, as well as how to negotiate. A skill that everyone uses daily but which tends to be seen as a kind of dark art is how to feel more confident and comfortable in negotiating.
Amid the backdrop of one of the highest-profile negotiations in recent memory, centered on Elon Musk's ongoing stop-and-go plans to buy Twitter, and aware that many readers are negotiating on their own behalf right now for more time, more funding, a better exit package, less TheExcerpts from that chat are edited for length and clarity.
You have been an expert in dispute resolution and negotiation for a long time. A book on the topic has been well received. Is the ability to negotiate well somewhat intuitive for people who haven't read it?
Most people are better negotiators than they think because we do it so much. It is only when we see negotiations through the lens of things that are transactional and conflict ridden that people are willing to negotiate. Any parent, any employee, any pet owner, is probably good at negotiating.
What are some of the most common mistakes people make when negotiating a business deal?
Humans are at the center of all negotiations. That is where the magic takes place. Negotiating is not a transactional activity. Creating new relationships is one of the best negotiations. Negotiating becomes a conversation when you look at it that way. The conversations are more difficult than others. If we open our minds to them with a sense of compassion and creativity, they shouldn't be.
The bridges are being built. It is getting to an understanding. It is a problem-solving team. Decision-making is what happens. This is the last thing that people should be afraid of.
There is a line between being fearless and over confident in your book. Readers may be wondering how to cross that line.
Negative self talk and self sabotage are some of the things that go into this. You won't be an excellent negotiator if you have a higher IQ. Getting out of your own way is a must if you want to be a good negotiator. Great negotiators see themselves from a place of value and are unafraid to speak their mind.
The goals that you set for yourself are diminished if you don't believe in yourself. They become protected. Maybe they will become mediocre. Once your goals are watered down and safe, what you ask for is not going to be reflective of those goals.
If you back off in order to make the other party happy or to avoid conflict, then you can't stay in the conversation. Your space is as important as theirs if you want to be part of this conversation. It means that you seek solutions that are mutually inclusive.
If you're in an M&A situation, what do you tell people not to take the first offer? Do any of these really matter?
The way I teach doesn't require you to do anything. I don't believe in always and never.
Our gut instinct and emotional intelligence become stronger as we age. These should be used to navigate conversations instead of trying to remember what a professor said. It creates a lot of anxiety when you are boxed in because no negotiation is the same and the person sitting across from you is different.
It's not clear if Musk is trying to get out of the deal or if he's trying to get himself some time. I wonder if this will become a kind of case study for future negotiations since making the conversation is public.
The man is playing by completely different rules. In the past, this would have been a nightmare for shareholders and companies because they wanted to hold on to what was happening until it was all done. He controls his story and the messaging that comes out is his, no matter how confusing.
He's been testing the water for far longer than the six months he's been talking about buying the company. People react immediately when he says something about the stock of the company. I believe he saw the power that he had in changing markets by using the social networking site.
Do you believe there is a plan for this area? Is there any logic in the chaos?
I was surprised when the deal fell apart because of the threat of litigation and the fact that he tried to leave. The stock price would be a lot lower if the deal happened after that. I was confused when the deal came back and it wasn't lower.
I can tell you that I don't believe that Musk does anything accidental. There was great intent. That is a lot of power if you can change the way that you communicate on the platform. I don't think that a man who controls transportation and the future of outer space would ever buy a social networking site. This has been on his mind for a while. I believe that he sees its value in a way that no one else is imagining.