Occupation: Unpaid Researcher
Industry: Psychology
Age: 23
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Salary: $0 (I can't make money from my job right now because I'm on a student visa, but my parents send me $1,000 a month and pay my rent. Right now my parents pay for everything as I graduated from undergrad in December and can no longer receive scholarship money from my undergrad. Their generosity is why I can focus on research for the 4 months I spend in the US postgrad, which hopefully helps me walk into a Ph.D. program with more potential publications and collaborators, which may translate into more funding in the long run. I am currently applying for a $10,000 scholarship for pre-grad students like me who are doing research.)
Paycheck Amount: $0
Gender: gender-nonconforming female
Monthly Expenses
Rent: $1,295 (I live alone in a studio by my university, paid for by my parents)
Student Loans: $0
Netflix: $8.99
Amazon Student Prime: $59/year
Spotify: $4.99
Cell Phone: $60 (prepaid plan)
12 p.m. - I make a pitcher of kale strawberry smoothie for lunch. While I eat I read a paper to prep for an upcoming meeting. I stayed up late because I was rushing a poster that I am presenting at a research conference this weekend, so I have not had time to prep for this meeting. Wish me luck!
1:30 p.m. - I head out to meet my collaborator. Background on my employment status: I graduated one semester early from college two and half months ago, which was also when I submitted my graduate applications. Because I am a foreigner, I am not allowed to work in the United States. Since I am going to grad school this fall, it is also hard to find employment in China, my home country, given that most standard employers require a two-year commitment. I am looking into online freelance work this month. I write short stories, know three programming languages, and used to be a statistics tutor, so I am focusing on work that requires those skills. My parents agreed to financially support me in between college and grad school since I graduated early and had multiple scholarships that helped with my undergrad costs.
3 p.m. - Our meeting is a success! We go over her data set and I gain a good understanding of our research variables. She is also a woman of color in academia, and we share similar struggles in trying to be assertive, so we talk about that as well. There is a clear hierarchy in my field, in that undergrads are below postgrads, who are below Ph.D. students, and so on. But she is very down-to-earth and has become a role model/mentor for me in many ways.
3:30 p.m. - I finish up a few random things before I leave, like clearing out my fridge and taking out the trash. An hour before I'm supposed to head to the airport, I finally hop online to see who's attending this conference. It's one of the biggest conventions in my field, so everyone's going. I realize my prospective supervisors from both schools will be there along with several other academics whose work I admire. Nerd energy pulses through me and I'm too excited now. I force myself to take a shower before I leave.
10:30 p.m. - We finally take off. I take out my laptop and begin working on this non-profit initiative I started with a friend, who I met while studying abroad and who is also a student/researcher. She grew up in the Middle East and moved to the states for college, so we bond over our ambiguous cultural identity. We started this initiative a few months ago. We start airing podcasts next month, so busy times. It's been a humbling experience as we are small fishes in a vast ocean, but we are both pretty dedicated.
8:30 a.m. - I duck into the bathroom and change out of my plane clothes, comb my hair, put on makeup, and get into "business" attire (i.e. a turtleneck and linen pants). I'm a pretty casual person and generally look like I'm in middle school with the way I dress down, but I want to fit in at this conference, so I dutifully change my looks. I didn't bring a blazer because I want to be comfortable, but once I get out, I see that everyone is wearing a blazer. Damn.
10:30 a.m. - The conference started before I got in and I already missed the keynote speaker, who is actually the entire reason I signed up for this conference. He's a pioneer on racial bias research in my field, and I read his works in textbooks as an undergrad. I see him walk by me as he sneaks out of the room and want to scream and ask for his signature, but I suppress my inner groupie self. I leave the room, too, and sneak into another conference where a feminist psychologist whose work I greatly admire is giving a speech. She's amazing in person! I talk to her afterward but am very flustered. Still, she agrees to a phone interview for my podcast.
12 p.m. - It is lunchtime, and the hotel provides free boxed lunches for us. There is one veggie option, and it is a spinach and mushroom wrap that literally tastes like nothing. I take my lunch outside to meet my friend, Z., from my lab and run into one of my prospective supervisors. We say hi, and she tells me not to commit to the other school yet. I want to get coffee with her, but none of my questions feel totally appropriate. I know her university is dominated by old white men, so that's my primary concern.
4 p.m. - Z. and I finally meet up. We go to a conference just for the free snacks. I see no appealing options because I'm just not satisfied with pretzel chips and hummus. It's a luxury hotel, so I expect a full buffet of dim sum because that's how it would go in Asia. Alas, she raids the snack bar, and we catch up on life. She did not get into grad school this round but has an amazing job opportunity lined up, so I'm very excited for her.
7 p.m. - After chatting with a British postdoc for a long time about what it's like doing a Ph.D. in the UK, the entire table has lost interest. He essentially does methodological research, which is important, but not very interesting to me. However, I eat three bowls of bread things (I forget what it's called, but this was the only meat-free option I found at this party, and I think there's butter in it). I get a beer and it hits me hard, because I don't normally drink (but take other substances, *wink wink*, as a trade-off).
12 a.m. - I text my ex-partner, V., asking if we can talk, which is not a good decision. I ended this four-year relationship because our respective insecurities were spilling over into our relationship, causing frequent fights in the past year. It was an amicable and mutual ending. We both know we are in love, but that right now we must grow on our own. I hope to find my way back to him because we are incredibly compatible most of the time. It's complicated so I won't go into it here. He doesn't reply, so I knock out.
9 a.m. - I wake up two hours later than intended and see that I missed my alarm. I see that V. texted back and said he was at work (he's in Europe, so there is a big time difference), but that he misses me and wishes me luck on my presentation. We text for a bit, and he reveals that he Googled when my presentation would be even though he feels it's creepy. I find it rather sweet and only slightly creepy.
6 p.m. - I finish a whole day of back-to-back conferences and go back to my hotel, where I pay rent so I can check it off my to-do list and feel productive. I did nothing else today. In a state of false optimism, I made a to-do list last week for my time in New Orleans, which obviously is not going to work now that I'm here and eager to do anything but these things.
7 a.m. - I wake up late again. My prospective supervisor is giving a talk at the ungodly hour of 7 a.m., so I drag myself out of bed, usher myself into a hot shower and then put on a business-looking sweater and my Doc Martens. Someone compliments my pants in the elevator and I excitedly tell her I thrifted them for $5. I show up at the talk for the final segment because these conferences have several speakers per session, so I'm in time for the last speaker but missed my supervisor's talk. I look at another girl's notes (so dutiful) and see that my supervisor cited another researcher I admire, which is cool.
12 p.m. - We head back to the hotel for a first-gen academic meetup. A white man talks about how people think just because he's an old white man, he must have a privileged life, but he's actually first-gen. It's a room with primarily women and POC, but only the two or three white men in the room speak about their struggles, which I find concerning. I put the feelers out for anyone who's willing to write about their experiences in academia for my initiative as a way to encourage underrepresented communities in academia, and a girl comes up to me with interest. It's a small win.
1 p.m. - I attend a mentoring lunch with a professor and a few other students. We talk about our struggles in academia. Imposter syndrome and depression are real issues many students face in grad school and beyond. This is probably so much worse for women and POC. I also broadcast about my initiative and ask the students if they would want to submit anything for us. The professor gives me her card and asks me to send her information so she could share our platform within her network of 400+ psychologists, yay!
2 p.m. - I present my poster! A Ph.D. student from my undergrad university shows up. I took a grad course last semester, and he was in my class, but he was my nemesis. I'm a competitive person. My nemesis seems to flirt with me (?!) and gives me his number. I tell him Z. and I would love to hang with the grad students later tonight. I then stop by his poster, too.
6 p.m. - The grad students are going to an indoor market hall, so Z. and I Uber over. Same deal: I get the ride there, she gets the ride back. I don't find anything appealing at the market hall except for beet juice (I'm curious because of Dwight from The Office), but nobody is at the stall, so I give up. Z. and I share two cocktails and talk about our research. $6.82
1 p.m. - I wake up without an alarm in my hotel room. Z. flew back to LA on an early flight, and I text her to let me know when she lands. I text a conference poster that's relevant to my undergrad supervisor's research to her, and she says she's so jealous I get to be here because this poster is so cool. Z. also shares photos of us at the conference in our lab group chat, and our supervisor congratulates us.
6:30 p.m. - I start packing. This is when I realize I lost my Hydro Flask. I call the hotel front desk and security, but nobody has found it. I cry inside - it is so pink and so pretty! I finish packing up and browse Hydro Flask mugs on Amazon. I don't order any yet, because this is still a mourning period.
10 a.m. - I land in Minnesota. It takes me a minute to find the metro that takes me to the Mall of America, and when I get there, I see that I can spend about half an hour. This is good enough for me since I only wanted to get out of the airport.
11 a.m. - I'm back at the airport. I go to the bathroom, wash my face, and brush my teeth. I do these routines when I travel because they help me feel a little more grounded and refreshed. I then wait at my gate while reading the news.
12 a.m. - I take a shower and go to bed exhausted from a half-day of travels.
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