An as-told-to essay was written based on a conversation with a lawyer who is on leave. It has been edited to make it clearer.

I knew I was going to have a big job when I was the firstborn of an immigrant family. I didn't know that I'd be leaving that job after two years.

I felt the pressure when I was a child of immigrants. I had to succeed, and I had to succeed in ways that my parents would be proud of. I chose law because I wanted to work in that field.

I double-majored in women and gender studies and equity studies in college. I thought I could use my platform as a lawyer to help people who were in need.

Becoming a lawyer was expensive

I have a lot of student loans. The pressure to find a high paying job to pay off your student loans is enormous, so when I was offered a job that gave commission on top of base pay, I took it immediately.

It wasn't what I wanted to be when I was in law school, but I was still able to help the disabled. Since I hadn't been on a vacation in years, I knew it was time to take a break, even though I didn't really enjoy being a lawyer.

Now that I'm on a break from my job, I'm freaking out

I've never had this much time for myself in my life. I'm reminded in the back of my mind that I can return to the structure and safety of my life as a lawyer, but something is pulling me in a different direction.

I want to do something creative for work. I wanted to be an artist when I was a kid.

TikTok was a creative outlet that worked well for me. I have more than 470,000 followers and I share videos of my daily life as a self-proclaimed depressed lawyer. My success on TikTok has made me believe that I can do what I want with my life. There's a lot of uncertainty in my life, but it's also exciting and beautiful.

It's terrifying to leave a secure, high-paying job, and I wouldn't be able to do it without my family

Even though my upbringing and our family relationships are sometimes the source of my content, they've been so supportive of me taking a leave from my job. They watch my videos and we talk about them. They just want to see me happy and that's why it's wild.

I thought I had to be successful in order to be supportive, but that's not the case. Even if they don't want me to be a lawyer, they want what's best for me.

I'm fortunate to be able to partake in the country's unemployment benefits because of my location in Canada. I use savings and family support to keep the rest working.

Her first question would be, "What do Mom and Dad think?" It's nice to know that they're supportive and allowing me to take this chance.

I'm trying to nurture the creative soul inside of me instead of suffocating it

It took a serious toll on my mental health when I tried to downplay my desire to be a good lawyer. Being who you are isn't easy to live with. My child would be proud. She wanted to be a painter.

I'm not sure what's going to happen next. I don't know if I'll go back to being a lawyer or if I'll make it in the world as a creative person, but I know I have to try. I didn't want to fight with myself anymore. We are on the same team.

I was raised to think that quitting is terrible and you have to finish what you started, but I realized that allowing yourself the time to change your mind is so empowering. It is possible to decide what your life will be like. It's a good idea to quit something that isn't working for you. It's even better to try for a new thing.

An icon in the shape of a lightning bolt.

Continue to read.

high-paying job Lawyer Student Loans