My brother was murdered by Jeffrey Dahmer. Here's what it was like watching the Netflix show that recreated the emotional statement I gave in court.

• Rita Isbell gives her victim impact statement in a clip from "Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story"

• The statement Isbell gave at Dahmer's sentencing was not used in the show.

• The story about the statement that went viral is in this one.

The essay is based on a conversation between Rita Isbell and Errol Lindsey's sister. Isbell's victim impact statement was used in the new show "Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story." The essay has been edited to make it clearer.

I knew I was going to allow Jeffrey Dahmer to have the victim impact statement. I was not sure what I would say.

I did not write anything down. I would have torn it up if I'd had the chance. It wouldn't have made it to the page. I've never been in front of him. I thought I was going to say something. In the moment, it all came out.

My plan was to go up there and tell my mother how it made her feel and how it affected her. It was a new ball game when I saw him. I knew I was seeing evil. I was facing evil.

I was not afraid. That is not who I am. I had no fear in my body. I think he was aware of that as well. He wouldn't look at me.

During the trial, they were portraying him as being so out of control that he couldn't stop himself. In order to do what he was doing, you have to be in control. It's very important that you be in control.

I told you what out of control was. It's out of control. I didn't feel like myself. I wasn't myself at that time.

I let it go. When I had the chance to say something, I didn't hold it in. I spoke for many of the other family members of the victims.

The officers that took me away were very nice to me. They asked if I was thirsty. I told them I had a throbbing head and they gave me pain killers. They were aware of what was going on. There were a lot of news people rushing me outside of the courtroom after that. I didn't have time to work on it.

I don't need to watch it, I lived it

When I saw some of the show, it bothered me because I saw my name on the screen and this lady said exactly what I said.

I would've thought it was me if I'd known any better. She had the same hair and clothing as me. It was like reliving it all over again. I felt all the emotions back then.

I didn't hear about the show. I would like to know if we liked it or not. They never asked me anything. It was done by them.

I'm not a money hungry person and that's what this show is about.

Some of the money could be given to the children of the victims. It's not necessarily their family. I'm older than that. I'm very happy. The victims have kids. It wouldn't feel harsh and careless if the show helped them.

They're making money off of a tragedy. It is just greed.

I only watched part of the show with me. I did not watch the entire show. I don't need to pay attention to it. I was a part of it. I'm aware of what happened.

Now I can talk about it without as much anger

I had that anger for a while. I did not have the wisdom that I have now. To deal with it, I had to make it understandable. I provided for and protected younger kids. Every day, I had to go to work.

I can handle anything at this point. I'm still alive and well. I'm still in good shape. I have a lot of kids and great-grandparents. I had to come to terms with it over time.

I can discuss anything now. If I can help, I don't want to walk away from everything. Yes, if my words can help someone else.

The show brought up old feelings, but it also helped me. I enjoy it because I can deal with it in a different way. I don't have to be angry about it.

Even if I don't understand, I will keep on with my life. I don't have the power to change things that have happened. I can't change anything else.

My brother was a dad and grandfather

Errol will always be with me. Then his child. I want to talk to her about him.

The world did not know that my brother had children. He got someone pregnant before he died. She was 31 years old when this happened.

It's not about me anymore. When they mention my name, I will always refer to her as the daughter of Errol Lindsey. He has a granddaughter as well.

I think of my brother when I think of him, he was a goofball, and I think he will appreciate the fact that I'm still standing for him. I'm here for him.

The company did not respond to the request for comment.

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