I deleted hinge in April. It was the last app I had on my phone.
I have tried a lot of different dating sites and have spent a lot of time trying to find a long-term partner.
I'm single. I'm exhausted.
A low stakes way to engage with the wild world of dating turned into a frustrating and soul-suckling chore.
From now on, I will only date in the real world.
I was late getting to the app store.
I gave a month-long trial of the app in order to get to know it better. I took in two to three dates a week. The whole thing was new and exciting. These people were on my phone.
I kept going.
I have been on at least 50 dates over the last five years. I ended up dating two of them after clicking with five of them.
The 4% success rate is depressingly low.
It is possible to meet great people on a dating app. Online dating is the preferred method of meeting heterosexual couples in the U.S. according to a study.
I haven't had such luck.
I found these apps to be a mixture of frustration, anger, and dread that it won't work for me.
I know I'm not the only one. The survey found that 45% of Americans who used dating apps or websites in the previous year felt more frustrated.
In talking to friends and reading various media about modern dating, I have found that there are many legitimate gripes.
No digital profile could ever represent a whole person, regardless of how real a person's photos are or how accurate his description is.
The majority of a person can't be represented by it. Tech is too small to capture someone.
These apps can't predict chemistry If you click, you can get a sense of what a person likes and dislikes.
If I had seen these guys in real life, I would have known I wasn't interested. There is no spark.
The odds of meeting someone on the apps are similar to hitting a slot machine. People win on slot machines. Absolutely, that's right... How often do people play without winning?
I want to be more intentional about how I spend my time. This attitude improves wellbeing. The more intentional I am, the less patience I have for the activities that make me unhappy. It's not worth it.
The last dating apps on my phone were deleted five months ago.
I am catching up with my grandma, reading plays, or seeing stand up with friends instead of chatting with guys whose vibes I can't gauge, because Just For Us was so good.
I got Covid a few weeks ago. It's not like scrolling through random profiles and sending meaningless texts, it's more like activities and people I love.
Don't get me wrong, I'm afraid of not meeting someone because of this move.
Russell Ramsay told me once that uncertainty is an anxiety generator. A life without a constant stream of options is meaningless.
I put myself in more situations where I can meet people. I took screenwriting and acting classes this year.
I have created a place for more in my life.
Regardless of whether or not these experiences put me in front of the man of my dreams, I'm getting inspired and finding joy and fulfillment in ways I didn't realize I'd missed.
You can check it out.
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