Go Ahead, Ask for Help. People Are Happy to Give It.

Fear of rejection is one of the many things that can make it hard to ask for help. There is fear of being imposed. The mythology of pull-yourself-up-by-your-boot straps is ingrained in American culture.

Many of us underestimate how willing others are to help.

Six small experiments involving more than 2,000 people were part of a study published in the journal Psychological Science.

People who asked for help underestimated how willing friends and strangers would be to help, as well as how good the helpers felt afterwards.

The researchers think that people may not be able to ask for help in ways big and small because of mis-coded expectations.

According to a co-author of the study, expectations in our heads can create barriers that aren't justified.

In one experiment, Dr. Zhao and her co-author recruited 100 people at a public botanical garden and asked them to take a photo at a particularly picturesque spot. The askers knew how difficult it would be for strangers to say no to them. They knew how people would feel after taking the photos.

The researchers asked the strangers who snapped the photos how they felt about helping out and found that they underestimated how willing strangers were to help. Four people refused. They underestimated how nice the strangers would be.

198 people were asked to recall when they asked for or offered help in an experiment. They wrote a letter of recommendation for graduate school, showed someone how to use a parking meter, and provided emotional support to a friend in a toxic relationship.

When asked how willing they were to help someone, those who had asked for help guessed how willing they had been, while those who had not asked for help guessed. The people who asked for help thought their helpers were less willing to help than the people who said they were.

In their study, the researchers acknowledged that their experiment in the botanical garden had tested a relatively simple request that could easily be fulfilled and that more difficult requests could prompt a different response. There were cultural differences when it came to asking for help. Future research may look at those types of questions. They think their findings show that asking for help is not always a bad idea.

The doctor said that they feel good making a difference. Helping makes people happy.

A growing body of research suggests that we tend to undervalue the power of social behaviors and act in ways that are kind and helpful toward others, often to the detriment of our physical and emotional health.

A study published in July found that reaching out to a friend with a quick text is more important than we think. An August study led by Nicholas Epley, a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business who was also co-author on the new study about helping, found that we tend to underestimate the power of simple gestures of kindness.

The benefits of helping others include lower levels of stress hormones, as well as physical and mental health benefits. The study found that engaging in helpful behaviors, such as buying masks, improved the helpers sense of connection and meaning.

Practice is important because asking for help can be uncomfortable. Wayne Baker is a professor with the University of Michigan's Ross School of Business and author of "All You Have to Do Is Ask: How to Master the Most Important Skill for Success"

Dr. Baker said to ask yourself, what is your goal? What do you want to achieve? He did not work on the new research, but he was not surprised by the conclusion that people underestimate their ability to lend a hand.

The "SMART" system is promoted by Dr. Baker. He thinks it's applicable across contexts even though it was designed for workplace settings. Requests should be as many as possible.

• Specific, specific.

• All parties are aware of why you are asking.

• It is realistic.

• It's time-bound.

Lizzie Post is a co-president of the Emily Post Institute and a great-great-granddaughter of the renowned etiquette expert. Ms. Post suggested you say something like, "Hey, Mom, it would be great if you can, but no pressure if you can't!" We will be able to find another person.

Ms. Post advised to say thank you in a variety of ways.

She said that expressing gratitude and making sure you don't miss it when someone is generous toward you is important.

According to the new research, people are happy to lend a hand, and asking for help is not that hard.

You might be underestimating how willing others are to help if you don't take into account our research.