Soccer fans have mostly been the beneficiaries of CBS. CBS took its coverage very seriously, even though it forgot about it until the day before the tournament started, and even though it dusted off a closet and called former USMNT members. The thing about most soccer fans in the U.S. is that they want to be left alone to watch the game and not have to worry about anything. We want to stay in the area where we were drawn to.
From the jump street, CBS understands that. The network didn't try to sell you a product you already bought. CBS treated fans like adults and wrote their presentation in that way. Analysts in the studio and in-game analyze the game for the network. They don't want to sell t-shirts with slogans. The studio crew has been sent to Italy for big games to show they are aware of the gravity of the situation. Some of the best video packages are offered by their company. The game is the center of it all. In a world where Fox can't be counted on to leave the room to cut a fart, they've been a lifesaver.
They made their first big mistake. Ray Hudson has been hired by multiple producers to be a part of their coverage of the league. He seems to be on the No. 1 broadcast for both the first matchday and the second one.
If you don't know Ray Hudson, he's been on social media at some point when he was covering La Liga for BeIN Sports, which was a terrible broadcast. Hudson made every game the equivalent of getting roaches dumped into your ears because he didn't know anything and he kept reverting to some phrases he learned at a college radio station.
Hudson gained some popularity because he has a thick Scottish burr, which by itself entertains most as Americans have rarely evolved beyond "He Talk Funny" levels of entertainment, and because he goes out of his way to come up with descriptions and adjectives that he clearly spent all week thinking of and
To say the least.
I love a good vocabulary as much as the next guy, and they wouldn't be so bad if they didn't scream at the viewer. Doc Emerick used a lot of words, but he didn't use them to call attention to himself. To describe the game better, they fit in with the rest of his patois.
Hudson is screaming these words in order to get attention. He is the attraction in his mind, which is never what a broadcasters should be. A long time ago someone told him what the wordmagisterial means, and he has been egging our houses, ears, and brains with it ever since. Like Macho Man, he uses it. It goes wherever you go.
He masturbated when he heard the call of Messi's goal, which was the main point for him to get angry. The only time Hudson would shut up was two minutes after Messi scored.
When he isn't talking, he's still making noises as if someone is trying to save his life. Hudson letting you know he's there and what a pleasure it is for you to be listening to him, as you try to lift up your own couch so you can drop it on your head, is what every game needs.
CBS has been able to let it sell itself by presenting the sport in a way that is easy to understand. For a lot of soccer fans, soccer is a way to escape the constant air raid sirens of the sports world. Hudson is what would happen if you combined a riled up Tony Romo with the worst of Gus Johnson, ran that mixture through the bowels of a rhino, and then broadcast it while being squeezed by a boa constrictor. I will defenestrate myself if he ends up being the guy for the final. It doesn't look like he'll ruin any of the Reds' chances.
CBS was the chosen one.
Ken Starr, get out of the house.
The news that Ken Starr went dirt surfing made the world seem a bit lighter and softer. Starr did a lot of bad things, but perhaps his most vile was having his hand at the wheel when the university made rape a perk of being a football player there. Starr wasn't interested in lifting a finger because it might cost a bowl game. Yesterday was the first good thing he did for the world.
All Rights Reserved © 2024
