The chaos that creates those outcomes is what this column is about. Every week we will relive the drama from the highs and lows to the sure things that suddenly weren't sure anymore, and use our signature scale known as the "bucket of tears" to rate them. There's nothing to worry about. What number of buckets do you think? The Gambling Gods are laughing at your misfortune.
The return of the NFL captured the community's angst and celebration, and is one of the reasons why this is all about them. All hell broke loose in the middle of the day on Sunday.
You were reminded that the Falcons are going to win when you thought the Saints were done.
The Atlanta Falcons lost all these games https://twitter.com/NFL_Memes/status/1569357018645016576?s=20&t=WbMrLnS6VPP9GOfJlTUErA
— NFL Memes (@NFL_Memes) September 12, 2022
The dirty birds needed a bath after watching JameisWinston carve up their defense like he just got a fancy set of knives. We should leave it to Atlanta to remind us not to say anything until the clock hits zero.
The verdict was one bucket, after all.
If you had a pick six, you're a winner.
Bengals QB Joe Burrow throws a pick-6 to Steelers Minkah Fitzpatrick for the first touchdown of the first football Sunday of the season. https://twitter.com/NFL_DovKleiman/status/1569011317175992322?s=20&t=WbMrLnS6VPP9GOfJlTUErA
— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) September 11, 2022
Both teams forgot that field goals only count if they go through the uprights. Moneyline bettors and survivors are not ready for this roller coaster yet.
The verdict was three buckets.
As time ran out in overtime, the Texans decided to hold their beer and play for a tie. The "everybody lost!" moment is when you punt from the middle of the field.
Texans fans watching the offense jog off the field and play for the tie instead of the win. https://twitter.com/NickSchwagerNFL/status/1569154202424823808?s=20&t=WbMrLnS6VPP9GOfJlTUErA
— Nick Schwager (@NickSchwagerNFL) September 11, 2022
Everyone in a survivor pool had to re-read the tie rules to figure out if they won or lost and this got an elevated bucket rating. Week 1 is similar to "Week No One Won." I will look myself out.
The verdict was four buckets.
There were buckets to be handed out all day, from the Giants going for 2 and the win over theTitans to the long field goal from theBrowns to the win over theBakers. Saturday wants to join in on the fun. Ohio State made me cry early Saturday.
Ohio State scored on the last play of the first quarter to take a 14-3 lead. I needed a +12 for the first quarter because Harrison caught the goal line and it appeared he crossed the goal line as time expired.
That Ohio State spread was a criminal bad beat. FG 4 seconds into the second?? https://twitter.com/MattRicupero/status/1568645133436096513?s=20&t=A4uK4sbrEoh7xAlrCsH1PA
— Matt Ricupero (@MattRicupero) September 10, 2022
Arkansas State killed my wallet more than I did.
The verdict was five buckets.
You face 4th and goal from the 3 if you trail the Nittany Lions by more than one point. Do you do anything? I'm not sure how to kick a field goal. The total was not mentioned.
Great decision by Ohio to kick FG 😊 CFB betting cheat sheet: Finding value betting first halves https://twitter.com/DougESPN/status/1568681531622789121?s=20&t=mg9SmcjOXG30cKddldXnSQ
— Doug Kezirian (@DougESPN) September 10, 2022
We know which side Doug was on.
There was a verdict on the matter of two buckets.
On Saturdays, we can't see everything. That's the reason you need friends that love you. We were sadly given that byNorthwestern Duke.
I had to believe it and that made the pain worse.
UNBELIEVABLE FINISH at Duke vs. Northwestern 😱 Evan Hull looks to score the game-winning score but he FUMBLES and Duke recovers to win the game S/O Jaylen Stinson and Darius Joiner with the forced fumble 💪 https://twitter.com/TPortalCFB/status/1568684991969918976
— The Transfer Portal CFB (@TPortalCFB) September 10, 2022
The verdict was four buckets.
Notre Dame got into the fun of "how did that just happen?" After this close call, someone was buying drinks for the entire bar.
ND was this close to pulling ahead before the half... Marshall 1H ML (+575) ✅ https://twitter.com/ActionColleges/status/1568693078336356354
— Action Network Colleges (ActionColleges) September 10, 2022
Is the luck of the Irish not good?
There was a verdict on the matter of two buckets.
There are a few things that I can only be certain of. We will all have our confidence back by Saturday. We will be able to pull up our group text threads by Sunday. By next week? More buckets of tears will be handed out.
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