I was sexually abused by my step-grandfather. When I shared my story, I learned a lot about my family.

• His step-grandfather sexually abused him for a year.

• He started a charity to help children who have been sexually abused.

• The story was told to Kitti Palmai.

An as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with a friend. It has been edited to make it clearer.

I loved visiting my grandpa when I was a kid. I didn't realize at the time that what he was doing to me was wrong and that it had happened to three other family members.

I was a victim of sexual abuse. When I was 11, my stepmom stopped it while we were watching TV in the living room. I was sitting on my grandpa's lap and he dropped a cigarette but didn't pick it up. My stepmom looked over and saw that his hands were underneath the blanket.

My father questioned me about what happened after she took me home. I thought my step-granddad was showing me a form of love when he was angry. I was told not to say anything.

I kept reinventing myself

In secondary school, we had to write a short story about a child being abused by a family member, and I wrote about it. My parents were contacted by the school. As the years went by, I was assigned to attend school counseling less often. My brain blocks the memory and I can't remember most of these sessions.

I didn't want to be the popular guy that I wanted to be when I was studying performing arts at the college. After my parents moved to a new place, I reinvented myself and went to a new college.

I lost interest in entrepreneurship when I was 19 years old and failed many businesses. I wanted to make my dad proud.

The interview with Lewis Howes caught my attention when I came back from Australia. He talked about how he hid his femininity because of his sexual abuse as a child. I realized that hiding behind confidence and popularity was a reflection of the boy that was abused when I worked as a personal trainer.

I had been running away from my issues.

I started speaking openly about my abuse

I wondered why my father became an alcoholic after he died of a heart attack. I was told to take my mask off and tell my girlfriend about the abuse. When she found out she was dating a fraud, I was worried.

In front of seven other entrepreneurs at a business mastermind conference, she encouraged me to break my silence. I got the urge to speak up again after they thanked me for opening up. After parking my car and posting a video on Facebook, I decided to change my mind.

My stepmom was able to figure it out. My dad was one of the family members abused by my step-grand dad. Everything was put into a completely different perspective by this revelation.

My healing method has been self- development. I was reading books on forgiveness. The online coaching business didn't make money when the Pandemic hit. I left the business because I didn't feel fulfilled. I was homeless in the UK and only had my dog with me. I had thoughts of committing suicide.

Publishers kept rejecting my book. I self-published my book, "breaking the silence", in February of 2021. In six months I did a talk.

My goal is to create awareness. I would like to encourage others to break their silence. We Rescue Kids in the US gives mental-health care to child survivors of sexual abuse and sex traffickers. I created The Andy Project in the UK to help male survivors of abuse break their silence.

"Spotlight" is a film about the Boston Globe's investigation of the sexual- abuse scandals within the Catholic church. The locations where abuse occurred were listed at the end of the movie. He was a victim of abuse but did not seek help.

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