My boyfriend lied to me to break up. We've been married for 22 years and have 4 kids together.

• My boyfriend tried to break up with me when he told me a lie.

• I wanted to chase after him so I wasn't ready to give up.

• We've been together for 22 years.

We met in a chat room that was still used for online dating. I was a teacher in northern France.

I thought I was meeting a romantic mechanic who took long bike rides on his lunch break, but he was actually a mechanical engineer doing research in nuclear physics and a cyclist.

I told him that I wanted to be a pioneer in foreign-language education in American public elementary schools and join the Peace Corps. I didn't tell him that I was in a place where I didn't need a man to fulfill me.

We spent a week living a French movie scene, which included Alpine sunsets, riverside walks, and stolen kisses. He wore down my resolve to not need a man. When I came back to my classroom in the north, I chatted on the clock with my new love interest.

He told me his friend was in love with him

He told me one morning that he was going to marry a woman from his hometown. She admitted that she had always had feelings for him.

What do you think about the situation? I swallowed the lump in my throat while typing.

He wasn't sure.

I cared about him even though I was in love. It probably wasn't meant to be if he didn't know about me. I wish him a happy life.

About 10 minutes before I switched gears, this magnanimity ended.

Yes, actually. She had been expressing her feelings for a long time. She had an opportunity. I was the one to take it.

He wasn't sure but he agreed. I don't want to hurt people.

I've never been so prepared to fight for someone. No one had been deserving. He could see reason if we talked in person. I hopped on a four-hour train to his city after leaving work early. I could see the pallor of his face when he picked me up. I asked, anyways.

He broke up with me, but it was all a lie

I told him that he had made a decision. The question was not a question.

The man nodded.

Is it not me?

He moved his head back and forth.

Blood was draining from my face. I wanted a time machine that would take me back to a time when I was focused on the present.

I used his phone to call most of the people in the US I hadn't spoken to in nine months. I ran up his phone bill and didn't talk to them about him. I had only one way to hurt him.

He pulled me to him when I was done using my phone. He wants to be with someone.

I didn't need to ask for the details. I was willing to let him stay with his mind.

He said that she would kill him. I said that she had her chance.

If she finds out, no.

He told me that his friend had lied to break up with me. I was going back to the US and breaking his heart. He wanted to prevent that from happening.

He didn't think I would chase after him.

Two years later we were married. The oldest will start university this fall. He thanks me every year for chasing him down. I don't think about where we would be if I hadn't had that coup. I've never met the friend, and she doesn't know about the big lie that nearly broke us up.

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