Stop using BeReal like Instagram

Photo by Jakub Porzycki / NurPhoto via Getty Images

Some of you are using it the way it was supposed to be used. I salute you for that. Some of you are using it badly. Everyone knows who you are.

BeReal is an anti-social network that many people don't know about. The app informs users that it is time to be real. After receiving a notification, users can open BeReal and take a photo of what they're doing, and post it to the app. Until you post your own, you can't see anyone else's.

It is the opposite of social media. People fill the latter app with photos of themselves doing things with large groups of friends. Do not post anything else if you post your best moments.

The intent is that BeReal isn'tcurated. You are the real thing. A scroll through BeReal will remind you that you are not alone, even if you feel like you are the only one in the room. It is the most effective online cure for fear of missing out.

That is the intent.

There is a fatal flaw in BeReal that is interfering with its mission. You can post a BeReal any time after the notification goes out, even if you don't post before.

There is very little that can be done to stop people from using this app the same way they do on social media sites. Regardless of when the BeReal notification goes out, they post at 8PM every night. They end up with a BeReal that is full of artistic photos of coffee cups, martini glasses, beach sunsets, and selfies with friends in high society. In other words, stories on the photo sharing site.

I see this among people I know, but I am also a frequent scroller of the public Discovery feed, and this is a trend that is growing across the platform.

I don't criticize late Be Reals in themselves. BeReals that are a few hours late from time to time are because we are not all available when the notification appears. Some people are not doing that. They choose to make their posts at the high points of their day and ignore the timing of the BeReal notification. I don't believe this is a blurry line. Are you in this category? You're aware of it.

I understand why you would like to do this. When you use a different app, the instincts that made it so are not gone. It is antithetical to the appeal of BeReal that this behavior is harmful.

You enter a social contract when you join Be Real. I am opening part of myself to you. I want you to know that I'm not the person you see on social media. I think it will bring you some comfort because I am showing you myself.

That is the reason you joined Be Real. You joined because you felt like it. Part of you wanted to see through the internet's cesspool ofcurated bullshit, too, and that's the only thing Be Real has promised to provide.

That needs to be both ways. I open the mundane parts of my life to you because I want you to open yours to me. We are the best weapons that we have. You are being asked to give some of what you are taking.

Users of BeReal are comfortable showing their boring, ugly selves on the app because other people are doing it as well. We enter the sea. Solidarity has power in it. Everyone who wants to use the app for its intended purpose will feel less comfortable if the app is overrun with partying. The unique appeal that drew us to BeReal will be lost. We'll have a much worse, much buggier version of the social media platform.