Elon Musk says a lot of wild things — and somehow we have to believe him

Kristen Radtke / The Verge; Getty Images

The phrase "The Tyson Zone" was created fifteen years ago by sports writer Bill Simmons. The stories about Mike Tyson are frightening. If you want to enter the Tyson Zone, you have to be willing to believe the sentence "Did you hear that he...". During his "WINNING" era, Charlie Sheen did a stint in the TysonZone. Lindsay was there for a long time. Dennis Rodman built a house in the Tyson Zone after marrying himself. The editor-in-chief and my boss flirt with the Tyson Zone every day.

There is a man living in the Tyson Zone. The zone should be renamed the Elon zone. What do you think he said or did? A 13-year-old boy has a sense of humor and the man has more money than any country.

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Which is how, I suppose, it came to pass that a bunch of people took Musk seriously when he said he was going to buy Manchester United, a club that has been in the news for a variety of reasons. It turned into a news story. The club's stock increased in value by more than 10%. The owners of the team are willing to sell a minority stake in the company. Even after Musk said he wasn't buying any sports teams.

Also, I’m buying Manchester United ur welcome

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 17, 2022

Musk is recycling an old joke. He told anyone who would listen about how he was going to buy Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in. I don't know if it's true, but it's certainly a lot, and Musk has the firehose, so I suppose he'd know. The idea of restoring Manchester United to its former glory isn't as funny as it sounds but it fits. It's not like it's impossible. Buying Manchester United would probably cost Musk about $5 billion or so, which is less than the deal he is trying to sell on the social networking site. It wouldn't be a surprise if Musk bought the club because all the rich men eventually decide they want to own a sports team.

The uncertainty and chaos that swirls around Musk is not like the Tyson Zone. There is only one response to Musk's antics in these cases. You should believe his legal filing because he is many things, but he is mostly a shitposter on social media.

You should always look at what is happening before he posts because Musk tries to distract you. Musk told us exactly what he was hiding. His Man U post was actually a reply to another one. I support the left half of the Republicans and the right half of the Democrats. This is a clear response to the leak that Musk had been glad-handing right-wingers at a party hosted by Kevin McCarthy. Everyone started taking selfies with Musk even though he said he was not there.

The news that Musk is a Republican should come as no surprise. He continues to paint himself as the reasonable guy in a country full of eccentrics, but he seems to happily play whatever side suits him, which, at least recently, has been leaning ever harder towards the right. Most people will focus on silly soccer shenanigans if Musk's audience is forced to choose between "Elon Musk hobnobs with the Republican elite" and "Is he seriously buying a soccer team?" The numbers show that Musk's "I'm a centrist!" message got less than half the engagement as the Man U reply and the soccer joke sparked a much bigger news cycle.

After acknowledging that it was a joke, Musk implied that he might actually be serious. Although, if it were any team, it would be Man U. I was a fan of them as a child.

Let's be clear: Musk isn't buying Manchester United. I don't know. This is the issue. I can't fault anyone who still thinks he might. It is the type of thing he does. When he randomly decides to release a song or sell a hat, he usually stretches the bounds of belief. When Musk created the hyperloop in order to defeat a movement for high-speed rail in California, it was actually a calculated redirection. He sometimes tries to buy something on the social networking site. Knowing what can be very difficult in the moment.

The life in the zone has been great. Musk has investors, governments, and fans who believe he can change the car industry, build a city on Mars, and create humanoid robots.

The "anything seems possible" effect is starting to affect Musk. Is it true that Musk promised a woman a horse in exchange for sexual favors and sleep with her husband? It doesn't seem impossible, despite him denying it. Is there a lot of toxic people at the company? It seems like it. Will he risk $44 billion just out of pride and anger when he goes to trial withTwitter? I think it's like Elon.

Most of Musk's promises are so far out that it's hard to prove him wrong. He is a bully who can win most fights. If Musk keeps making cars and making money, he might be able to live a normal life. If you think you know what's going to happen between now and then, I think you're wrong. I would believe everything.