I Was Skeptical of Baby Gear. Then I Became a Dad.

After my wife found out she was pregnant, she started making a list of baby gear.

Diapers, bottles, wipes, a matching Ubbi diaper pail and caddy set, a sleek stroller organizers, and a $70 Hatch night light were on the list.

I wasn't opposed to her choices, but I was skeptical. Babies were without this stuff for thousands of years. If we changed our son's diaper on an old towel, wouldn't he be hurt?

I'm inexpensive. I was concerned that we were falling for a marketing ploy by Big Baby, which preyed on the fears of first-time parents by selling us overpriced junk we didn't need and wouldn't use for more than a few months anyway. According to an estimate from Grand View Research, US parents spend over $30 billion a year on baby products. A lot of the money goes for basic necessities like food and diapers, but an increasing number of families have started springing for higher-end luxuries like trendy toy subscriptions, electric wipe warmers and the Snoo, a divisive, $1,500 robotic bassinet.

When I had a child, I put high-end baby gear in the same category as high-end pet gear, but that didn't matter to the actual users. I was skeptical of most premium-tier gadgets because of my career as a tech columnist. I was worried that if we went too far on baby gear, we would end up with closets full of unused items, which we would need to pay to replace when they inevitably broke or went missing.

I didn't want to say the stupid names of the baby products in my house.

We could go the minimalist route. One night, I asked my wife a question. There was no fancy gear. We need hand-me-down stuff and cheap stuff.

My wife pretended to think I was serious. She quietly ignored me. I'm happy she did. I have become a full-fledged gear dad because I am the father of a four-month-old boy.

It has changed me a lot. I now care very much about baby gear.

I can see a stroller at 100 mph. I don't like bottle-drying rack. The OXO one is upright and takes up less counter space than the cactus garden one.

If you are in the market for a changing pad, I will tell you why it is worth the steep price. You want to be dealing with lakes, not rivers in diaper messes.

During my wife's second trimester, when I was feeling particularly anxious and helpful, I started getting gear-pilled. I was spending a lot of time on the internet and on the forums for expectant parents. As my obsession grew, I began researching supply-chain shortages, studying the inventories of online baby retailers and braving the backwaters of used gear on Facebook.

The acquisitions started in the third quarter. We got a great deal on a used stroller, the Rolls-Royce strollers, and a compatible car seat that had been on back order for a long time. The gifts from the registry were starting to arrive. The house was entered by two people.

My baby gear fixation was a misguided attempt to channel my anxiety into something that was productive. It was my wife who gave birth. I was unable to fix her pregnancy symptoms, or go to doctor appointments in her place, but I was able to find a hundred reviews of travel strollers. She wouldn't have to worry about baby gear.

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In the third trimester, I became a one-man Wirecutter, rattling off product features and information about recalls and sending long lists of gear recommendations to other soon-to-be parents.

I like knowing about baby gear. I knew about baby gear. I was surprised that learning about baby gear made me learn about babies themselves, what they like, what they don't like, and what ages they grow into and out of. As the due date neared, I was more prepared and less hapless than many of the other first-time dads I met in our birthing classes, who had outsourced the gear decisions to their wives.

When my wife gave birth three weeks early, I was ready. I didn't worry about whether the car seat was installed correctly when I took her to the hospital.

My interest in his gear has made me a better parent since our son was born. I know how many diapers to pack for a three-day trip, and I can field his questions about formula types without breaking a sweat. I can operate, clean and adjust the majority of our baby gear without any help from anyone. There's no weaponized incompetence here.

I know what gear isn't worth buying. I believe that parents should spend as little money as possible on baby clothing, and no money at all on things that are designed to be peed, pooped, vomited or spilled on. An old towel works well. The wooden toys that are popular in Berkeley and Brooklyn are not for me. The Baby Brezza Formula Pro Advanced is a machine that mixes and warms formula bottles for you with the press of a button, and it costs $300.

There are parenting problems that gear can't solve. It can't help a baby sleep or teach a toddler to walk. Families that can't afford tons of gear will raise happy, healthy babies without it.

It's satisfying to give into the gear itch. The gear is tremendous. It is an expression of the Promethean itch to harness technology to bring order to a chaotic universe and represents our progress as a species. Having the right gear can help new parents feel more in control and less at risk.

Good baby gear is classified into three basic categories.

The gear you don't pay for is one. The Snoo bassinet was lent to us by our friends and I didn't pay for it myself. You won't hear me complain about the bags of clothes we got from our friends, even the onesie that says "I'm cute, Mom's cute, Dad's lucky"

The second category of good baby gear is the stuff that you pay a lot of money for but that reduces stress for one parent.

The Elvie portable breast pump is battery operated. A normal breast pump was lent to my wife by the hospital. The portable pump allowed her to drive to the beach or take a walk in the park without having to worry about staying close to a power outlet.

Not everything that is sold as a convenience actually relieves stress. The Owlet Smart Sock is a $250 baby monitor that sends your child's heart rate and oxygen levels to an iPhone app. What's the reason? If we had access to that information, we'd be like psychopaths who check our phones every two minutes to make sure our baby is alive.

There are three types of worthwhile baby gear, the fun, frivolous stuff that doesn't cost too much and brings you joy as a parent. I bought a pack of bath toys for my son at Target. He wore the $7 onesie that looked like a crab twice before he outgrew it. If they made us smile during the first weeks of parenthood, that is worth something.

Do you want your children to be good parents? It's absolutely not. Is there a lure to me by the baby-industrial complex? It's possible. To keep my son entertained and comfortable, but also to help me become the kind of father I want to be, is what I see our baby gear as. I will give my baby gear to other anxious first-time parents when my son is older.