Ryan Rae Harbuck is a speaker and swim coach.
There is an excerpt from her book.
Harbuck got a question about her wheelchair while she put her child to bed.
Ryan Rae Harbuck wrote "When I Grow Up I Want to be a Chair."
My heart is busy. The soft voice of pure innocence said, "I talk to my heart sometimes." The glow of the translucent turtle night-light could be seen against the other wall. The hand-painted grass stalks were made with my own acrobatic maneuvers of painting so close to the ground from the height of a wheelchair.
It wasn't perfect but it showed the pure love I had for this particular 4-year-old.
What do you think about it? I whispered in a similar way. I loved these moments so much that I wanted to take them with me when I went to sleep. I told myself to always remember this moment. Since the birth of Roo, those moments have flourished.
I propped up my legs as if I were going to sleep there as well. It's what he wanted. I or my partner would spend up to two hours putting this little man to bed. It was my time tonight.
He thought about something he had said to his heart before. I felt the same way.
I knew this was going to happen, but I didn't know it was happening with him. The only plan I had for the evening was to get this boy to sleep in the least amount of time possible and make him feel special.
I was tired because I was well into my 30's. I combed his hair and the dirt from his day off.
Being a mom was something that I had always wanted but never put enough weight on for fear of never achieving it. It wasn't until I met James that I realized how much I wanted it.
We've discussed it before. I don't walk because my legs aren't strong enough.
Are your legs young?
They are the same age as I am.
What about your arms?
My body is the same age. I think my legs look different to you because they don't work the same as other mothers.
The other mommies walk and are taller.
He was fond of pointing out how short I was compared to other grown ups. I'm not sure if he realized it was because I was sitting down or if he thought I was too small. I knew that 4-year-olds are into size and age, and I wasn't going to be bothered by his questions. I've heard the same things many times.
They do. They are indeed. I'm not a normal mom.
He used two belly buttons to break in. I'm pretty sure he bragged to his preschool friends about that.
I thought about it a bit. When I was in the hospital after my accident, they sliced a small hole in my belly and sewed in a GI tube to keep me alive. All that was left for him was my second belly button.
That's right, baby. You get it. There was a long pause of quiet. The sandman took this sweet boy away for the night to dream of his favorite things, like swimming and school, naked mole rats, and his beloved teddy bear.
He whispered, "You were in an accident a long time ago, but not when the dinosaurs were alive." I was in a car accident that broke my spine and I was trying to rationalize with a young child that I was not responsible for it.
In the past two decades, I have been asked many times by children, with their parents in the background. This was the first time that it made me fear that it may never be found.
Ryan Rae Harbuck wrote "When I grow up I want to be a chair." Ryan Rae Harbuck is the author
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