narcissists dismiss their partner's feelings and blame them for the problems in the relationship
They could act in ways that are immature.
According to a psychologist who works with them, it takes time to teach a person to be compassionate.
Most people exhibit a small amount of self-centeredness. Few people are diagnosed with the most extreme form of personality disorder, which is called narcissistic personality disorder.
David Hawkins, a clinical psychologist at The Marriage Recovery Center in Seattle, told Insider that when someone comes to him about their spouse's behavior, it's usually after they've been receiving it for a long time.
It can take a long time for people to figure out what is wrong because the person is saying it's not them. You're the one. That makes the relationship difficult to understand.
When they read about emotional abuse, they realize their partner may have difficulty with compassion, and personal responsibility, and that's when they reach out for help.
He said that a willing narcissist who wants to change and save their relationship is able to do so, but it will take time.
During hours of therapy, he looks for certain behavior patterns in his clients' relationships to determine the best course of action.
A narcissist will dismiss their partner's feelings, saying they don't believe them or that they shouldn't feel that way.
dismissal tactics include name- calling and gas lighting. These and other behaviors will be pointed out in couples therapy to the person who is abusing them.
"They're deeply ingrained character patterns, so someone who's very firm and confrontational such as myself needs to say to him, 'Look what you're doing right now,'"
"Why are you bringing this up again?" he said. They made their partner feel unimportant by apologizing.
A person with a high opinion of others may refuse to take responsibility for their actions in a relationship.
They will insult their partner and blame them. This can happen in a relationship as a way of taking control of the dynamic and making their partner feel bad.
Extreme manipulation techniques like the silent treatment can be used by a person who is a pathological liar.
If a person in a relationship sees something their partner does as an attack, they could not communicate with each other.
It's not good to hold in this way, but it's a defense mechanism for the narcissist. They don't have to worry about their low self-esteem if their partner can't critique them.
For whatever reason, you're seeing a person who has no real inner confidence that they can rely on. Elinor Greenberg is a therapist and author of the book " Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration and Safety".
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