The best burns Twitter’s lawyers deployed to deny Elon Musk’s claims

Kristen Radtke / The Verge; Getty Images

I didn't know what was in Musk's counterclaims against Twitter, but I got an idea when they dropped their response. It's very spicy. Rather than letting Musk get his complaints out first, the better thing to do was to release a blow-by-blow response.

I really like this.

The Counterclaims are a made-for-litigation tale that is contradicted by the evidence and common sense

Legal documents are usually aggressive in their digs at the other party The lawyers for the social networking site came out swinging in their reply. Maybe that is because they know how many people will read them, or maybe they are justInterpersonally Mean.

We picked our favorites in the paperwork and are showing them to anyone who might be interested.

What is Elon Musk even talking about when it comes to bots, Twitter wants to know

You may recall that Musk had a reason for bailing on the social networking site. During the hearing that set an October trial date, Musk's lawyers brought up the issue of bot accounts and the fact that they were used to send out junk mail.

The process, paperwork, and disclosure statements are briefly walked through by the company. Musk did not find any false or misleading statements in the disclosure. His numbers are strange. They don't know.

Musk is not measuring the same thing as Twitter or even using the same data as Twitter.

Musk is said to be making waves with his distorted numbers. It says who the bot is now.

Musk’s “preliminary expert estimates” are nothing more than the output of running the wrong data through a generic web tool. ... Confirming the unreliability of Musk’s conclusion, he relies on an internet application called the “Botometer”— which applies different standards than Twitter does and which earlier this year designated Musk himself as highly likely to be a bot.

I can't figure out how funny this is. Musk used a website called Botometer to analyze the data on the micro-blogging site.

Twitter is willing to admit some things in Musk’s countersuit are true

The funniest part of the document is this one. There are some things that are true.

Twitter admits that Musk is a Twitter user and has founded several companies.

Twitter admits that its business is complex.

Twitter admits that Musk is a Twitter user and has over 100 million followers

Twitter admits that it detects and removes spam from its platform

As to whether or not Musk believes in free speech and open debate, as well as whether or not he appreciates Twitter as a town hall, as to whether or not it was a natural option for him to invest in, and so on. Later, it was admitted that Musk was a frequent user of the service. It does it once in those words and once again.

Twitter admits that Musk actively uses Twitter and that many people believe that open discourse is essential to a functioning democracy.

Open discourse is essential to a functioning democracy. They can't form opinions on whether eliminating free speech is worse than the disease.

Twitter admits that it did not provide the information in the April 28, 2022 press release to the Musk Parties before the Merger Agreement was signed and before the parties had a non-disclosure agreement in place.

We didn't give him the press release until he agreed to the terms of the agreement. When it was announced that it miscounted its daily active users, Musk complained that he didn't get a heads' up. I don't think it's a good idea to tell people things until they sign a non-disclosure agreement.

Maybe it is this one? Musk didn't do due diligence because he thought it was too expensive.

Twitter avers that the Musk Parties declined to undertake any due diligence prior to signing the Merger Agreement.

Sometimes it hurts when you agree with your opponent.

Twitter admits that on July 8, 2022 Defendants purported to terminate the Merger Agreement, that Twitter subsequently filed litigation seeking specific performance of the Merger Agreement, and that Defendants have filed counterclaims.

This case is acknowledged by the social network.

Twitter says Musk is just making stuff up, arbitrarily changed his mind

Remember the will-he-or-won't-he dance about Musk joining the board. It does on the micro-blogging site.

Musk abruptly changed his mind about joining Twitter’s board (after first negotiating an offer to join the board, accepting it in writing, and Tweeting that he was “looking forward” to taking the position), notified Mr. Agrawal of the same, and also notified Mr. Agrawal of his intent to make an offer to buy Twitter.

Because Musk didn't find any false or misleading statements, he withdrew from the deal.

Musk just now invented this new pretext for avoiding the merger agreement, as these supposed inaccuracies are nowhere mentioned in his July 8 letter to Twitter explaining the bases for his purported termination of the merger agreement, nor in any other communication with Twitter since signing the merger agreement. In any event, Twitter never made the disclosures he now asserts are false.

Twitter denies it’s a microblogging social network

In Musk's claim, his lawyers state that the primary business of the social media network is to allow users to share 280 character messages called 'tweets'. This isn't true, hilarious.

[Twitter’s] primary product, Twitter, is a global platform for real-time self-expression and conversation, including in the form of Tweets. Twitter further avers that Tweets have a maximum length of 280 characters.

I don't know what "social network" and "microBlogging" mean to the lawyers of the company.

Poop emoji

This one doesn't need more context. I was surprised that there wasn't an actual emojis in the filing.

On May 16, 2022, Mr. Musk publicly replied to that Tweet Thread with a poop emoji.