Stop Protecting “Good Guys”

The professor scanned the room. He said, based on the majority women group, that he should be careful. The mannequins are in the open leg position. They were used as training dummies for the exams. He gestured to the plastic models and said, "Don't worry, you won't have to do this position" A man who was told of the professor's behavior described him as a long time friend. He's a good person.

A woman physician proposed a policy on patient safety at a national committee meeting. She proposed language for the statement. A male colleague interrupted her mid- presentation and talked over her. Despite her 10 years of experience, he called her nave and inexperienced. His personal attacks were witnessed by six coworkers. They didn't say anything. The chair told her not to take it personally. He should be cut some slack. He didn't mean it. He's a good person.

There is a common strategy for enabling and protecting perpetrators of sexism and sexual harassment. Science, technology, engineering, mathematics, and medicine have higher rates of sexual harassment than medicine. Most of the healthcare leaders are men. Sexual harassment and bias perpetuated by men are a part of the medical culture. It's difficult for women to speak up because of the atmosphere of repercussion. According to research, men don't condone sexist behavior, but they are reluctant to confront other men. Being seen as a weak man by other men is one of the reasons for fear. There is an implicit rule of behavior that governs many man-man relationships and perpetuates a sexist workplace culture.

The good guy defense is defined by appealing to the utility of this commonly used phrase. Men and medical institutions offer an endorsement of the offender's moral character, suggesting his innocence, and signaling an allegiance to him when they call someone a "good guy". To gaslight women is one of the functions of the good guy defense.

When a woman is interrupted, dismissed, made to feel incompetent, sexually harassed, and eventually decides to share her experiences, it's too often that men respond with invalidating statements. "Oh, but he has daughters, but he mentors women all the time, he flirts with everyone, and it's not a big deal." Men are given a pass on harassing behavior when they say things like, "He doesn't know any better," or "things were different when he was in training." If a man is referred to as a get out of jail free card, the chance to help him overcome a blind spot in his leadership is lost.

The legitimacy of the woman's experience is challenged by each sentiment. These phrases are not as bad as "He's a good guy" It is implied that a good man in other contexts could only have intended good behavior in this case. Vouching for a man makes the victim less likely to hold the harasser accountable.

There is a second problem with the "good guy" defense, which is that it perpetuates a misogynistic culture. Fear of violating sexist workplace norms and reluctance to have difficult conversations with repeat offenders are some of the reasons why a colleague is dismissed. It's possible that calling out this behavior will make men think about their past conduct.

The 'good guy' defense is common in medicine, but it is not the only field with this problem. The study found networks of complicity in sexual harassment. perpetrators surround themselves with networks of colleagues who minimize their behavior The "good guy" defense has been used to excuse sexism and sexually harassing behavior of men in the film industry. The medical profession has unintentionally cultivated and amplified the "good guy" defense through a reverence for the history and tradition of medicine. Women who are the strongest, bravest, most resilient may stop speaking up when they see these fake men protected.

We can improve. We need to shift the culture of the workplace from one that protects and perpetuates sexism to one that is notable for men. Younger generations of leaders should look to male leaders for example. They can start by affirming women's experiences and then remove "good guy" as their defense. The term "good guys" can be taken back.

Improve your situational awareness.

You can learn how to identify sexism. The research shows that noticing and correctly labeling the behavior is the first step. Men can build gender intelligence through rigorously conducted reports, such as McKinsey's Women in the Workplace 2021, and the Sexual Harassment of Women National Academies of Sciences Engineering and Medicine. When you see this behavior, check in with the target. Her experience was vindicated by this. Your manager dismissed you and the other women in the meeting. I feel like it's sexist to me. I don't know if I am reading this correctly.

Check your own impulse to gaslight.

If a woman colleague reports a sexist or harassing encounter, be certain that you don't say anything that will make her think she's blowing it. Try something like, "I believe you" That behavior doesn't sound right from what you've said. Can you give me more information, and can I work with you to address it? You can get more information from these responses.

Hold other men accountable.

The toughest part of male allyship is active confrontation of other men for sexism, bias, harassment, and all manner of inappropriate behavior. It's necessary to eliminate the "good guy" defense. Don't tell the person who is being harassed that the person is a good guy. You can address the behavior with the man. The carefrontation is an act of care on the part of a friend or colleague. The comment was offensive and degrading. It was offensive to our women coworkers. You can do better. You can say, "You and I go back and we're friends." I know what you said and did. Here, we don't do that. You need to apologize and be nicer.

Use positive reinforcement.

Men are more likely to be re-instated for desired workplace behaviors than women. You spoke up about our coworker's joke. It had a positive effect on the team when you did it. Reinforcement can be used to influence others in public. Thank you for that! I was not comfortable with that comment, and I agree that we don't do that here.

Integrate these conversations into your organization’s culture.

Team members should discuss the impact of the phrase "good guy" with one another. Encourage others to talk about their experience with the good guy defense. You can include examples of the good guy defense. Exposure and best practice training are important for leaders to handle these situations. A commitment to improving workplace culture is demonstrated by inclusion in high-visibility programs.

It's time for leaders, managers, and bystanders to stop the good guy defense. It is a professional duty to do so. The term "good guy" needs to be taken back. We should insist that the status quo be used as a target for men and women to create a respectful, dignified, and inclusive workplace.