I don’t want our neighbors using our pool without asking first. How can I address that?

The house we moved into has a swimming pool. We invited our neighbors over to use our pool when we became friends with them. My husband told me to come over and try our pool. We had a lot of out of town trips last summer, so they didn't.

My husband talked to them a couple of weeks ago about our sprinkler system and the heat, and they thought they might take us up on our offer to use the pool. He said he told them not to worry.

We think they came over one day when we were away from home. Wouldn't it be appropriate for them to let us know when they want to use our pool? Since my husband was so vague about it, do you think they're able to come over any time?

I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive by looking out the window at the pool at any time of the day. If I asked them to let me know when they wanted to come over, what would happen? I don't want to offend them.

How do your husband encourage your neighbors to use your poo? It would have been a good idea for him to say "just give us a call to make sure we are going to be home and that we can test the water to make sure it is okay."

The polite course of action for your neighbors would be to call you to make sure you're ok to use your pool. Since they don't understand, you can still discuss the topic with them.

You could start the conversation with something.

If you can give us a heads up about when you want to come over, we can make sure we have tested the water to make sure it is okay. If we know we won't have time to use it, we don't test it and clean it every day.

The problem of having them come over at any time should be solved by this conversation.

Pool party dilemma

We are thinking about having a pool party for our co-workers, neighbors and friends.

If I made a comment on the bottom of the invitation for them to bring their own beach towels, it would be considered offensive. I wouldn't have enough to use. I think we could ask them to bring their own towels since we received invitations to bring our own drinks or food. I should just go out and buy more towels because my husband thinks it will be tacky if I do. Please give us your opinion.

Adding a comment asking your guests to bring their own towels is appropriate. When they are ready to leave, they would probably use their own towels and wrap them around themselves to keep their car seats dry. If you are a well-prepared hostess, you should have a stack of towels near the pool for guests who forget to bring a towel.