6 signs you're intimidating people at work, and how to avoid it

Any body language that is closed off, such as turning slightly away from you or crossing the arms, is a defensive posture that, like a lack of eye contact, signals feeling threatened. By contrast, people will take open, relaxed postures or lean toward you when you've made them feel comfortable and equal to you.

This is easily expanded to nonphysical areas such as phone calls or email. If you tell others they're free to contact you and they still stay away, that's a big tipoff that they don't feel comfortable approaching you with problems or questions. They might be finding other ways to work around the issue, such as conferring with others on the team or their mentors instead of coming to you. In the worst cases, if it's possible, others might avoid events where you are going to be because they don't want to feel uncomfortable.

While an apology can be a heartfelt signal of remorse, it also can be a knee-jerk, subconscious way for the speaker to communicate submission to you. They see you as the rule setter and seek forgiveness when they perceive they've done something to violate your standards.

Even when you have an incredible idea, smart colleagues and team members will challenge it appropriately, asking about alternatives, logistics, costs and timing. If you're intimidating, however, others don't feel like they're in the position to question you. This can make initial stages of projects seem very smooth, but you pay the price later when things they should have approached you about start costing you time, money, and other resources.

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When two highly qualified people go neck and neck for a project, promotion or other golden egg, the decision often comes down not to technical knowhow or experience, but soft skills. That is, others look for how you're going to interact with the group and whether you can bring out the best in each person you work with. If you can't interact well and hinder others because they're fearful of you, your competitor will get the opportunity every time.