We're getting married next summer, and we've settled on most of our guests. One of his best friends from college is definitely on the guest list. I wouldn't want to invite A to my wedding.
We were both in the same college major, but we never really got along. When I ran for a leadership position, I was an opponent. A is loud, likes to be the center of attention, and once complained to my face about how annoying my fiancée was. Our other college friends don't like A and wouldn't want to hang out with her. She's not known for being kind to other people. We were music majors and she has a loud singing voice, but the thought of her belting Bey on the dance floor made us cringe. Why would we want a person who doesn't like the bride or groom?
It's normal for long-term partners to receive a wedding invite, but they started dating a few months before we got together. We don't want to cause drama because we both dislike A. I told my fiancée that if A doesn't attend our wedding, I won't attend their wedding. M was told that if A doesn't want to attend that we understand and don't care. If he doesn't take it well or she doesn't attend, it could cause some drama. We should explain why A isn't welcome to M.
It's wedding season and so many people are struggling with who to invite. I don't think there is a true right or wrong answer as it is you and your fiancée's special day. Your friendship with M may be affected by your decision.
It would be considered a snub to exclude her because she and your friend M have been together for a long time. Your friendship with M may be affected by this as he is his partner and where his loyalties lie. I wouldn't fault him for declining the solo invitation in order to show respect to A. He has the rest of his life with A to think about, and sacrificing his partner for one of your days would not be in his best interests. It's easy to ask how important it is to have M present, happy, and having a good time when you're considering an invite.
Our dog training was derailed by my boyfriend's sister. I don't know if I can refuse to let her have her puppy.
I don't want my fiancée's sister as a bridesmaid.
It doesn't mean you can't have a conversation with your friend before your wedding. This is not negotiable. If A were to show up in white, make it all about her, can't keep distasteful comments to herself, or is disruptive to the function, she would leave. There is no need for you to be concerned about confrontation if you have a weddingplanner or day-of-organizer. If A doesn't feel comfortable she doesn't have to attend, you could ask the maid of honor to be a buffer between you and A. It is important for this discussion to come from your fiancée, as his relationship with M is longstanding. If you want to exclude A, that's fine. I would recommend sitting down with M and gently telling him your feelings, seeing if he has any idea how A will respond, and perhaps even offer up the compromise that you won't attend his wedding if she doesn't attend yours.
It is possible that M is understanding, A is not bothered by being excluded, and everything goes smoothly. I have been to a few weddings recently and except for the one I was a bridesmaid in, I had very little contact with the brides and grooms. It may not subtract from your day in the way you fear if you don't have time to eat and talk to A. If you think it will cause you stress and uneasiness, then you should not invite her and let the chips fall where they are.
Morgan Absher is an occupational therapist in Los Angeles who hosts a radio show called "Two Hot Takes" where she and her co- hosts give out advice. She shares her advice in a weekly column. She can be found on TikTok, Twohottakes and on the internet. If you would like to share your story with her, you can do so by clicking here.
Do we have to invite our friends' partners to our wedding?
All Rights Reserved © 2024
