Sex addiction isn't recognised by science. So, why are people still being diagnosed?

Jamie, who's asked to use his first name only, went to a therapist immediately after a difficult break up. Jamie told his therapist that he wanted to be monogamous

Jamie didn't know that it was okay to think about sex with other people when he was in a relationship. There are problems with his sex life. I was told by the therapist that she couldn't make me monogamous, and that we would work through why I thought my sex life was problematic.

Jamie found out that he had been having sex when he didn't want to have sex with people he didn't like. I was told by a therapist that I was doing it because I hated myself, after a few sessions. Jamie said that he was diagnosed with sex addiction.

Sex addiction is something we all know about. Colin Farrell described his "obsession with sex" while Russell Brand talked about his orgy on a mattress in a sex addiction rehabilitation center. A lack of understanding and poor education around sex has allowed highly publicised but inaccurate stories like these to represent what'sex addiction' may look like.

Sex addiction is not a reality. The World Health Organisation does not consider it a condition that is recognised by any scientific community. The DSM-V is the bible of mental disorders.

30 percent of women and 30 percent of men are affected by Compulsive Sexual Behaviour. People's life functioning is affected by the behaviors. It's not about the number of times a person does something, or the number of times they watch pornography, or the number of times they cheat.

It is not an addiction because people's brains are not impaired. These problems are not an addiction for many people. repetitive and unwanted sexual behaviors that go against their own values are what they are struggling with.

The World Health Organisation doesn't endorse the term "sex addiction" as there's no evidence to support it. With news stories about celebrity sex addicts, rampant misinformation about sex, and the misconception that high sex drives are harmful, the term stays popular.

People struggle with sexual disorders. It doesn't deter people from being wrongly diagnosed with sex addiction. My ex-boyfriend thought my sex drive was out of control. He couldn't figure out why I wanted my life to be about sex. The term'sex addiction' was first said to her when she saw a doctor. Something about the term didn't feel right at the time, but who am I to argue with a doctor? Jamie tried to abstain from sex. It wasn't doable. I like sex and I didn't want to give it up. I don't think I had a problem, my GP thought I was having a lot of sex. After leaving her boyfriend and befriending other sex-positive people, she realized she had been misdiagnosed. There were a lot of people around me showing me that my sex drive was fine. Is it possible that I amobsessed with sex? It's good to have sex. Is it not okay to be obsessed with? There is a person explaining.

Many therapists are still trained in the old-fashioned concept of sex addiction. People can do online tests such as "Am I a sex addiction?" and self-diagnosing. He says that the online tests have no basis in science.

Sex addiction isn't a problem for some. Jamie doesn't mind being called a sex addicted person. If it creates awareness, it can be a good thing. Words carry a lot of weight, and referring to this disorder as an 'addiction' has led to many patients being treated incorrect. Permanent Abstinence is a method that doesn't have a nuanced approach to sexuality. Sex and masturbation are used by many people to soothe themselves from unpleasant emotions, and no one should be forced to stop.

Chris found out three years into his treatment that he wasn't addicted to sex. When I switched therapists, she told me that it wasn't real. I had been in and out of 12-step programmes and had been told to stop watching porn, wanking, and having sex. He says that they expected him to do that as well. It was really sad. I felt like I was doing something wrong when I didn't stay on track with Abstinence. That would make it more difficult to abstain. I saw a therapist who told me that I had a problem with sex and that I shouldn't have been doing it in the first place. It was really sad.

This strain of shame can cause a lot of problems in our lives. The acute shame is what keeps sexual behaviors problematic. People who are labelled a sex addiction and then banned from sex will be trapped in a circle of shame.

It is up to us to decide what fits into our sex life. Abstinence or any other big changes to your sex life can't be treated. Sexology-informed approaches can help people understand their erotic mind as erotic awareness kills sexual compulsivity.

He suggests that you investigate the function of sexual compulsivity if you're suffering with a dependency on sex. Is the sexual behavior there to soothe an underlying problem or unresolved trauma, or is it a conflict between the sex you want and enjoy? Don't try to control behaviours on the surface.

The idea of a person being addicted to sex contributes to the shame and stigma of sex in society. The idea that a person's desire for sexual connection can go too far or be too high leads sexually active people to have confused ideas about what normal sex looks like. Our lack of sex education is a breeding ground for sex- negative judgements.

Sex is a mystery. It's easy for people to believe that they're wrong or broken if they don't have healthy sex. Sex is not the same as drugs or gambling. One of the most human experiences we can engage in is it. Sex prohibition and holding real people with different sexual identities and tastes to a false idea of "normal sex" is nothing short of joyless.

The names have been changed by the interviewer.