Danny Drinkwater admits he wasted some of his best years as a footballer, but he is relieved that his nightmare is over.
The player, who was a key figure in the title-winning side during the 2015/16 season, signed a five-year contract with the club in July of last year.
The move didn't work out for Drinkwater, who was left on the sidelines for much of his time at the club, and didn't score a goal in 23 appearances.
Drinkwater spoke exclusively to Sky Sports News and said he was happy he could now look forward to getting his career back on track.
"I'm relieved because it's clear that the situation wasn't good for me or the club," Drinkwater said.
I'm angry because of how it's gone and how I was treated. It was a long wait.
I can’t blame the club. And to a point I can’t even blame myself. There’s more I could’ve done, but there’s a lot of ifs. I don’t think it’s anybody’s fault.
At the 11th hour of the summer transfer window, Drinkwater had an exchange of words with his former boss at the Blues.
With an hour to find a new club, Drinkwater was told that he didn't form part of his plans.
Drinkwater says that he was pulled into the office at the last moment. Don't think you'll be a part of our plans. The person is being translated by the man. I was confused.
We were on fire off the pitch. We were like chalk and cheese on the field. I wanted to know why you were telling me now. The window will close an hour before that. I don't have enough time. He said that they had clubs abroad that you could look at.
I have a young son. He is my number one priority. I stayed until January.
Drinkwater was asked if he had wasted the best five years of his career.
If you didn't get injured and the club treated you differently, then you should stay at the club. It's all ifs. It's frustrating all the time. I'm not burning about how it has gone. I keep kicking myself for it. Am I going to keep kicking myself because I can't change it?
Is it possible for me to help myself go forward? I went to Turkey at the age of 30 because I didn't think I'd do that. I dropped down to the Championship due to this. I've tried to do the right thing. Something isn't right as I've tried them.
Drinkwater struggled with his mental health, especially when he was accused of having an easy life and that he was happy to not play.
He was living the life. The reality was not known. Drinkwater revealed that he was lost due to his issues on and off the field.
He denied that it was true. Two weeks is how long living the life will last. You figure out you're not involved in games, only training, so you can go out with the guys. There are always things that burn away.
It chews away at you if you don't speak to the right people. I didn't know that until I went further down the line. I used to think that I could deal with this.
I suffered with mental health issues in 2019. I lost my dog and my dad was diagnosed with leukaemia, which is not me. I made a bad decision. I was fighting for my son and it took its toll.
It can be hard to juggle when you have too much. It struck me. I was wondering if it was what it was. I wasn't found.
Everything else seems easier to deal with when football is going well, but when this isn't going so well, everything seems so heavy. I believe that's the lowest I've been.
He said he didn't think he was depressed, but if he hadn't seen the sports psychologist, it would have been worse.
He can now look to the future despite the problems he faced after his departure.
It was a loan spell in the Sky Bet Championship that helped Drinkwater regain his confidence and he enjoyed his football again.
I joined Reading expecting to fly after eight games, but after 20 games I was wondering what was going on. I was surprised that I wasn't benefiting the team. What have you done?
You feel a little bit better after that. It was a good part of the season. It was great when a new manager came in. I felt like I was helping the team. I hadn't enjoyed football in a long time.
Next season, what about it? Drinkwater will be playing a sport.
He said there were a few offers on the table. It's strange when you're free to play football.
The last season helped me a lot, getting all those games under my belt, and hopefully the second half of the season showed I still have the desire to push myself.
It's just about the decision. It's hard to let go of winning at this age.
You can contact the Samaritans on the free hotline 116 123 or visit the website if you want to talk about mental wellbeing.
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