Aloft With the Famous (and Forgotten)

Patrick Smith is a writer for Ask ThePilot.com.

You will encounter this or that famous person many times.

Maybe it's a singer. It could be a film star. A newscaster, an athlete, or a washed-up comedian might be remembered. The actor known as "Mr. T" walks past you at the Los Angeles airport in 1981 when you were a ninth- graders.

Being a pilot, I have the added thrill of not just seeing or sharing a row of seats with whoever it is, but being somewhat indispensable to whatever journey he or she is embarking on, be it a flight home from an awards show or a trip to rehab. They're expecting me to do well.

It is enjoyable to think.

He was short, that's the thing. It was shorter than he should have been. Something about a celebrity catches you off guard.

Spike Lee was a passenger on the plane. The flight from Boston to La Guardia was shuttled. I was aware that Lee was on the shorter side.

Kevin McHale is a Hall of Fame basketball player. Kevin was in first class on the flight from Atlanta to San Francisco. I told him we were going back. This was a reference to the days in the early 1980s when I followed every Celtics game and Kevin McHale was the power forward.

I shared the green room with Robert Parish when I was waiting to appear on a local TV show. We chatted for a while and that was cool.

I was standing at the gate in Boston waiting to board a plane to JFK when I looked over and there was Kevin McHale. That's right, hey! I spoke. You were flown out to San Francisco a couple of months ago.

Kevin didn't seem to like what he saw. I don't think I'm responsible for him.

It was Dan Rather again. Ken, what is the Frequency? The captain was told by me. He didn't know what he was getting into. You probably don't as well. It's a reference from a long time ago.

Dan Rather is nearing the end of his life. I'm older than that. Everyone is over the age of 18.

Kirk Douglas was over the age of 50. He was able to live to be 103. I carried Kirk Douglas' famous son, Michael, on a flight from JFK to Los Angeles. Michael was on his way to his father's birthday party.

I know who Michael Douglas is, but my celebrity recognition skills are not very good.

The plane I was on had a passenger on it. I made a joke about people bringing drinks onto planes as he passed by, and the flight attendant took me aside and told me the guy was a rapper named Yeezus.

There was a buzz among the cabin crew because one of theKardashians was in row 2. I was the only one on the plane who didn't know what aKardashian was. I saw a woman in a nice dress reading a magazine. This was a reality TV show?

I don't know which one it was.

At the gate in Los Angeles, a couple come aboard and take their place in business class. I think the woman is Flamboyant. The child has a small version of the same hair, but in a different style. He wears a bright striped onesie that looks like silk. He is kicking and shouting. I was told that the woman is the singer and the little troublemaker is her child.

Would you recognize the person? She was on my plane a few years ago and ended up borrowing my phone charge. I asked Ms. Couric if she needed help with a story about airplanes or airlines. She called me at home the next day and asked about something that had been in the news. Nothing came of the topic I forgot about.

The actor F. Murray Abraham was flown out of the country. The funniest scene in the history of television was filmed with Abraham in the lead role. Louis C.K. was in the Russian Tea Room during the third season of the show. You can see it here. I didn't want to tell the actor that.

I flew Anthony Bourdain to the U.S. the day before my book was published. The title of my book is a rip off of a famous book. I wanted to let Mr. Bourdain know that I was uneasy about this. I told him that the publisher forced it on him.

He had a good laugh.

We have yet to get to presidents.

I have met many people. Presidents, but not American ones. John Mills was the first one. Mills was a passenger on my airplane at least two times.

I was able to meet and fly the President of Guyana. Contrary to what my father and others think, there are different countries and different presidents in the world.

Ellen Johnson Sirlief is the third person on the list. I met her at least four times. I asked if she would be willing to sign a copy of the plan. She wrote her name in green ink on the dot matrix.

I think things have gone well for me. The idea that one day I would be carrying presidents in the back of my plane was laughable when I was puttering around over Plum Island.

Would-be presidents are next.

We have to go back to a Saturday afternoon in 1980. Jerry Brown, then-governor of California, disembarks from a TWA jet only a few feet in front of me and two of my junior high friends at Boston'sLogan Airport. Jimmy Carter, John Anderson, and Ronald Reagan were also running for president.

Governor Brown has a political aspiration as well. One of the most famous punk rock songs is the Dead Kennedys' "California ber Alles." "Governor Moonbeam" is known for his dabbling in Buddhism, his liaison with Linda Ronstadt, and his appearance in the song.

Six years later, on a Sunday morning in 1990, I am standing at a busy general aviation field in New Jersey. The private jet is pulling up. The stairs lead down to the steps leading to Jesse Jackson's house. Jackson passed me by inches.

Ted Kennedy was standing next to me at the payphone in Terminal E at the time. The famous Senator, the brother of JFK, is slipping dimes into the slot. I secretly hold up the receiver while I talk to a friend. I want to know who the voice is.

She thinks it's similar to Ted Kennedy. It is.

In 1994, it is next. I'm in the captain's seat of a Northwest Airlink 19-seater, getting ready to leave for Baltimore. In 1988, Michael Dukakis lost the election to George Bush the Elder by a wide margin. He stops in front of the cockpit.

After we landed in Baltimore, Dukakis remarked, "Not a lot of room in here" He is correct about that even at 5'8" The Metroliner was nicknamed "lawn dart" because of it's skinny, tubular fuselage.

I think it's not Air Force One.

The Duke probably left a sheaf of papers in his seat pocket because he ran to a phone to complain about the plane he was on. The papers are in my hand at the counter. I told the agent to come here. They are owned by Mike Dukakis. She looks at me in a weird way.

I flew from New York to Boston with Clinton. They were sitting next to me. When she passed me in the aisle, I was taking something down from the overhead locker. I had to get away from her. I apologized. I'm sorry.

The daughter of Bill and Hillary Clinton thanked them.

They were all Democrats. I once had Robert Bork on my plane. In the summer of 1991, that was the year. Bork was riding in my car.

I flew David Atkins, better known to the world as "Sinbad", back and forth to Nantucket in the same shitty plane. He was surrounded by a group of beautiful women.

Even if he was the host of the Miss Universe contest, it is cruel to say that he wasthankfully-forgotten. Sinbad was so nice that he bought me and my copilot chicken sandwiches and asked us for advice on what kind of plane he should buy. I can't remember why we told him to invest in a twin- engine executive jet. I would have said something for a chicken sandwich if I had the money.

The great New York Yankees catcher was killed at the controls of a plane in 1979.

Patrick Smith wrote the article for Ask ThePilot.com.