How can men help dismantle misogyny and violence? This book will tell you how.

What can men do to dismantle misogynistic behavior? There are things men can do to stop male violence. What do you think true allyship looks like?

How Men Can Help is a guide to help men understand how they can help.

When men see a lone woman at night, how should they act, and how can men be part of the solution to ending male violence.

Those who are disproportionately affected by male violence should not shoulder the burden. In order to make society safer for women, girls, and genders, we need men to step up and take an active role in challenging misogynistic behavior.

The extract from How Men Can Help can be found below.

The Harts were raised in a house dominated by their father. The family lived on eggshells. Ryan tells me that he and his brother had to think about how he would respond when they were younger.

Things like his breathing are also included. He wasn't happy with what we were doing so we monitored that. His father's behavior was now consideredercive control and included psychological torment and controlling his daughter's spending, even on something as small as a coffee and bus fare. Ryan didn't understand that the situation he was in was abuse.

I believe it was because he was never physically violent, but he was always in control. Ryan thought the presentation about being physically or sexually assaults didn't apply to them. You don't think you're living with a killer?

After Lance Hart shot his wife and daughter in a swimming pool car park, leaving is the most dangerous time for an abused woman, according to statistics.

The killings made national news and columnists tripped over themselves to use phrases like 'understandable' in describing a crime of passion. We frame such men as an exception, unlike any other man, and at the same time an everyday man only one bad rejection away from murder.

Ryan says that this wasn't a red mist falling or a fuse blowing as we often say in the aftermath of such tragedies. Lance wanted to buy a pay and display ticket so he could park his car. He knew he was going to kill, but he still wanted to be a good citizen, that shows the level of control he had over himself. Lance was justified in what he did because he felt attacked by the women leaving.

When looking at how to improve the problem of violence against women, we need to start at the very idea of what men are taught to be in the modern world. Masculinities are defined and rewarded. Men sign a social contract to be a 'proper man'. The Hart example shows how men's ideas about themselves can change into action.

One thing you would want to know if you took 1,000 men is their attitudes towards being a man.

The ideology of men's entitlement and privilege over women, as well as the need to assert male control or power, are some of the factors considered to be behind violence against women. Men and boys are expected to use violence in certain settings in order to re-assert masculine power. The idea that violence is sometimes an acceptable response to the problems experienced by men and boys is promoted by these norms.

Traditional beliefs that men have a right to control women make women and girls vulnerable to physical, emotional and sexual violence by men. They make it harder for those affected to leave abusive situations.

Journalist and author Sophie Gallagher. Credit: Welbeck

The current view of masculinity makes excuses for violence against women and gives it legitimacy as a part of the human condition. Men are made violent through socialisations because they are not born like that. Men are being built that will use violence against women.

Lance Hart thought of himself as a father and masculine. He had a sense of entitlement as a man, as a husband, as a father, and as a wife. Ryan says that his children owe him everything because we wouldn't exist without him.

Men are limited by some forms of masculinity.

Tony Porter uses a metaphor called the Man Box in his 2010 Ted Talk. Some of the ways that men are taught to present are: don't cry or express emotions with the exception of anger, do not show weakness or fear, demonstrate control at all times, be heterosexual, be tough, athletic, brave, do not be like that. Men risk being seen as weak or not manly enough if they step out of the box.

Men need to think about where they are served and where they are restricted. Whether it impacts the way they perceive themselves, the way they act in public or in a relationship with a woman, the feelings they feel allowed to express or have to suppress, the jobs or hobbies they feel permitted to pursue and the vulnerabilities or

There are ways in which men suffer as a result of sexism, according to bell hooks. She believes that people are hurt by rigid sex roles.

We give up the belief that things can change if we hold onto the idea that men always have to be the way they are. The lives of men who struggle under masculinity could be improved by those alternative options.

The book "How Men Can Help" is available in a new tab.