The funniest thing about the Dallas Cowboys is that they make fun of them. It is easy to make fun of America when it comes to the quarterback who is most likely to trip before the finish line or the one who shows up without a visible gut. Can it be America's Team if the state that the boys live in is trying to break away from America?
Jerry Jones' act is so tired that it should have its own residency at Caesars. Jones is partnering with Black Rifle Coffee Co., a Second Amendment inspired java joint that sells such roasts as AK Espresso, Silencer Smooth, Freedom Fuel, and Coffee or Die.
Good PR for this partnership ends when the business is run by veterans. In addition to being the epitome of how to vilify vets, the roasters also offer shirts with silhouettes of rifles on top of flags. They offer firearms with roosters, Sasquatch, and a Mickey Mouse spinoff. Mat Best has a weapon in his picture on the "Who we are" page.
They source beans from South America. Even though there are only a few states that produce beans in the U.S, it's hard to stay home. It's national pride to drink some Brazilian grounds before going out to slaughter a bunch of deer with a semi-automatic weapon.
The Cowboys would know how greasy this feels if they read the room or watched a newscast. The marketing guru in Arlington said, "But Jerry, it's free coffee."
If the random business owners in Rifle, Colorado, who purchased the building that houses Rep. Lauren Boebert's campaign headquarters and her gun-inspired diner didn't want to renew her lease, the Dallas Cowboys should have enough common sense to not do so.
It's worse if you do it a day after a deadly shooting in a Chicago suburb and a month and a half after 19 children and two teachers were massacred in Uvalde, Texas. It doesn't have morals, decorum, human decency, or any other term you'd use for someone who trades their soul for a few dollars and a latte. Gat Rat night should be announced while you are at it.
Innocent Americans are at risk because of money and the Second Amendment. There is a politician who is excited about taking a bribe from the National Rifle Association.
The news that Coloradans will soon be without Guac Nine, the Ruger Reuben, and food poisoning at the hands of Boebert made me happy. I am not sure if that will end her reign as the Republican most likely to shoot off her big toe on the House floor. She used the first mass shooting in the country in three years as a way to rail against gun laws after winning her primary.
It's the most frustrating part of it all. There might be a bigger outcry in Texas if the Cowboys and Jones walk back the deal. The libs hate veterans and coffee didn't kill the kids.
Coffee companies that don't promote guns could have been partners with the Cowboys. Jerry Jones is the most disliked piece of cognizant sludge because they didn't. If it wasn't so depressing, I'd give a few more jokes.
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