Marie spent over $1,000 and used two of her 10 paid vacation days on a recent bachelorette weekend trip, which included airfare, food and drinks, and matching outfits.
She's going to other such events this year. A party bus, a party boat, and a group workout class are included in the package. Marie will still be spending $600, but she won't have to pay for airfare. She needs to take another day of her time. She estimates that the party for the 29-year-old will cost between $500 and $600. Three weddings are included.
Marie, who asked to be identified by her middle name to protect her privacy, will spend over $3,000 this year alone on other people's weddings and use half of her paid vacation days.
Marie is fine with bending over backwards to attend a wedding. The bachelorette parties have gone from being a fun night out to an entire production so that the bride can get cute photos to post all over the internet.
According to other bridesmaids and partygoers, social media has turned bachelorette parties into outrageously expensive, weekend-long celebrations, often requiring attendees to pay for flights and accommodations, as well as bottomless drinks, lavish meals, and matching outfits for the required photo.
According to a survey from the Knot, the average cost of a bachelor party is between $317 and $1,900 in 2021. Some attendees are spending more than $1,000.
With decades-high inflation and a post-COVID wedding explosion, it's shaping up to be an even more expensive year for wedding attendees. More than half of wedding goers say they will spend more this year for wedding-related events as a result of the many that were postponed during the Pandemic.
All of the women who were interviewed said they spent between $500 and $1,300 for a single weekend.
The parties have gotten more expensive over the last 10 years according to Sarah.
The reason people go to these events is due to the fact that they can see the most recent events online, and then want to recreate them.
"That balloon back drop is cute, but it comes with a hefty price tag, and that's what single people feel when they attend the parties themselves," says Patton, who notes that she feels the price sting more acutely than her dual income-household friends when she attends the parties herself No one wants their party to be the same, so you choose a different city.
Many brides want to make up for lost time when they get married later in life. If they were to get married in their early 20s, those more established in their careers would have less money to spend on weekends. One last chance to go on a girl's trip with friends is what many brides now view as their final chance. It is expected that you will reciprocate if a friend attended your party.
Good intentions exist. Maybe you haven't seen this group of friends in a while, so making it a weekend, you get more than a meal with someone. The same things are happening with weddings. They used to be that way. There is a Friday welcome party and a Saturday wedding.
Partygoers are happy to spend money on their friends at once-in-a-lifetime events. The decorated hotel rooms, limo rentals, cross-country flights, and themed brunches add up to a lot. It takes a toll on attendees when they have many "once-in-a-lifetime" trips. 34% of Americans have gone to a wedding that they couldn't afford, according to a survey by credit karma.
Since her early 20s, Lisa has attended at least a dozen bachelor parties, spending an average of $1,000 per party. Does anyone need those T-shirts and sweatshirts that cost $30? No, that's right.
Though she says she's more than willing to spend that money on her friends and those who attended her own wedding, there are some trips she has turned down because they didn't fit in her budget. A trip with people only the bride knows well doesn't hold the same appeal as a weekend away with a close-knit group. The cost and attendance expectations are the same.
"I'd rather spend my money going to the North Fork of Long Island with my husband than on a trip that's going to be exhausting."
Planning the event is more expensive than just attending. The maid of honor is usually the one in charge of the wedding and she hopes the other attendees will repay their credit card debt in a timely manner.
Tisha Ferraro knows what it's like to feel bad. She put everything on her credit card for the trip, including the cost of a private chef, decorations, alcohol, other dinners, and matching pajamas, after the four-day trip ended.
A California resident saved money by holding a party at her parent's lake house. She tried to be transparent with the attendees about the cost, which was about $600 per person. A self-proclaimed "Type A personality," Ferraro made a spreadsheet to track everything she spent money on, and created a budget section in the group email so there wouldn't be any surprises.
The stress was really high. For my girlfriends who do want a party, it's a one-time thing, and as much as we roll our eyes at it and it's costly, I think it's important to celebrate.
Some groups have betteriquette for splitting expenses than others. For everyone to keep track of their own costs throughout the trip, some prefer to have each attendee pay her share from the start. Ferraro's route is where the organizers pay for everything and split expenses evenly after the trip ends. Some groups split the cost of the bride's trip, which makes it harder for them to plan their vacations.
Ferraro has six weddings on the docket this summer, which will cost them a lot of money. She says it's making her feel unwell. She asked her parents to start a fund for her birthday because she wanted to pay for all of the related festivities.
She finds it surprising that everyone else can afford these weekends, even though she struggles with the math.
She said that most Americans are living paycheck to paycheck and that even people who don't have high-paying jobs are flying cross-country for these events. You are wondering how everyone is pulling that off.
These weekend parties are expensive. Is it not a good idea to just opt out?
Even though she is more comfortable declining invites at this point in her life than she used to be, she says it is not always easy to say no to an invite. Social pressure to make the weekend easy for the bride and not raise too much of a fuss will ruin her big day.
Expectations and emotions can cause friendship to sour quickly. When invitees don't want to go, they go along with the plan because they don't want to hurt the bride's feelings
The most expensive trip she's been on was the subject of a side group chat. It was not received well when we suggested a new location.
Marie considers attending pre- wedding events a part of being a bridesmaid. Since over-the-top bachelorette parties have become normalized and are now the new standard, I feel like it is an expectation that you will attend. You have to give a good excuse for saying no.
Setting expectations before time is important to the women interviewed for this article. It's the worst thing a bride or party planners can do when attendees have already paid a lot of money.
Now that she and most of her friends are in their 30s, any future parties will be more manageable financially.
When she was a bride, some of her friends were pregnant and having babies, and that changed the dynamic of her party, which was held at a cabin in the Hudson Valley. As you get older, you'll be more flexible with who comes.
All Rights Reserved © 2024
