Want To Know The Plot Of “Barbie”? Here’s What I’ve Come Up With.

The obvious question is, what is this movie about?

We don't know a lot of things. For a while, the only plot tease on the internet was simply, "Barbie lives in Barbie Land and then a story happens." How dare!

We don't know what we know.

Barbie is being directed by a female director. Gerwig was nominated for an Academy Award. Gerwig wrote and directed Lady Bird and Little Women, both of which subverted coming-of-age stories about women and featured Academy Award–nominated performances.

This is what a mindfuck it is. She told British Vogue, "People generally hear 'Barbie' and think, 'I know what that movie is going to be,' and then they hear that Gerwig is writing and directing it, and they're like, 'Oh, well, maybe I don't'

The person is talking about me. I'm a person.

The Squid and the Whale and Marriage Story were written by Gerwig and Baumbach, who are also known for their films. There is a sad divorce story that has been confirmed.

The cast is very stacked. Here are just a few of the actors who have been confirmed. We have reason to believe that Bridgerton and Derry Girls starNicola Coughlan will be in the film.

The script is supposed to be amazing. Drop-your-other-projects and get-the-fuck-on-board amazing. One of his agents gushed over the project, and that's when he self-taped an auditioning for the movie. He said this in a way that was very close to what he actually said. He said if he could stake his career on a single script, it would be the Barbie script. I believe you should do it.

"Barbie Girl" won't be on the soundtrack. The bad blood between the band and the toy company is believed to be the reason for this terrible development. We can only assume Gerwig is going to show Death Cab for Cutie.

Here is the best I could come up with for various Barbie plots.

1. Ken, a gay man who has bleached his hair in a crisis over his 27th birthday, is living in Sacramento with Barbie, a quirky and free-spirited Barbie. They carried out a series of robberies in order to fulfill their dream of moving to New York City and attending NYU.

2. In Barbie Land, Barbie and Ken live together. They are forced to go undercover at a cabaret show in Reno, Nevada, where they wear sexy Western outfits, when they witness a mobster kill someone.

3. Barbie and Ken live in a theme park called Barbie Land and are unaware they are artificial. They start killing guests while wearing sexy Western clothes.

4. Ken, who is married to Barbie, discovers a portal through which he can see the mind of Emerald Fennell, who is trying to write a script based on toy Barbies.

5. Barbie is not the toy, but the character on which the toy from the Toy Story movies was based, and that's where the movie star comes in. The film features a brief gay kiss between Scott Evans and Ncuti Gatwa, who play married gay astronauts for whatever reason, which conservative commentator Ben Shapiro will say is a disgusting attempt to distract children from the fact we have never had a gay kissing scene featuring Chris Evans.

6. Barbie is a former teen star who is now married to Ken. They have a son who likes Halloween. When their storybook marriage falls apart, they end up with expensive lawyers and a messy divorce. The Dreamhouse is eventually owned by Barbie. Ken is singing the song "Losing My Mind" from Follies.

7. Barbie is taken under the wing of Ken at a Montana cattle ranch, where she is befriended by a cowboy. A bunch of cowboys are running around in chaps and no shirts in a new movie. SamElliott narrates

8. Barbie is a social media and reality television star married to Ken-ye. Pete Davidson is in a yet-to-be announced role in the film.

9. When Barbie and Ken are invited to their 10-year Barbie Land High School reunion, they realize their lives have been meaningless. They try out a bunch of different careers in order to land jobs that will impress their former classmates.

10. Ken is leaving Barbie for me. She also takes her car.

11. Barbie and Ken are pushed to their creative limits when they have to abandon their mainstream movie background in order to write and direct a comedy that pokes fun at the limits of intellectual property.

On the same day as Christopher Nolan's World War II drama, Barbie will be hitting the big screen. We will be keeping an eye on it.

Tasneem Nashrulla came up with a new idea.