I thought of the sound of tires screeching. My heart rate went up as I sweated. I told myself to pull it together when I got to the office.
I realized that what I was doing was common to new parents. You are more prone to imagining the worst-case scenario if you are in a heightened emotional state. According to studies, I'm not alone when it comes to being a mother. More than 70% of mothers have them. One close friend catastrophizes, but in reverse - once the danger has passed, once the baby has been released from the doctor with a normal virus, she'll sit with the fear of what could have happened
These fantasies are healthy and normal. Our bodies have an adaptive trait that helps us prepare for the worst and protect our most valuable possession. If I stay inside the cave and worry about a mastodon attacking my baby while drinking my cave wine and watching cave paintings, the less likely I'll be to see a tusked encounter.
Is there anything that isn't healthy? Today's world makes these feelings chronic because of the constant bombardment of tragic events. Our brains may not be able to process uncertainty and anxiety anymore.
According to a March poll by the American Psychological Association, inflation, supply chain problems, global uncertainty and Russia's invasion of Ukraine have pushed America's stress to "alarming" and "unprecedented". The path towards a collective recalibration may be a long way off, as the unhealthy behaviors that began in Covid's first year became entrenched in the second. It goes for both parents and non- parents.
I was able to turn these statistics into something more vivid by talking to a neurologist who was concerned about what all this might mean.
The world has had brain changes due to chronic stress which makes us less capable of making decisions that can give us a healthy future. I reached out after seeing a video she posted on the first year of the Pandemic that shows how the brain processes stress and how it has worsened during Covid.
There are more primitive parts of the brain that control our basic functions, like our heart rate or fear of snakes, as well as more evolved parts that execute top. On the first day back from maternity leave, I was able to summon a statistical reality that soothed my fear of a stroller and a skipped light.
When we get stressed or feel out of control, we switch to our primitive ways of dealing with it, ramping up our fear responses and shutting off the prefrontal cortex. The higher the levels of stress, the more primitive the circuits are and the less affected you are by things that are threatening or sad.
Your brain's fear system is activated if you see someone afraid. We empathise when news on our phones is bad. Combining that with the new normal of living in a constant state of Covid-related uncertainty, and a political environment that can feel powerless, and you get a perfect neurological storm that has her worried.
It's important for family health that you keep the circuits that allow you to self-regulate and be rational.
Is it possible to get those circuits back. Research shows that if we spend time in calm environments we will feel in control. Many of the ways to combat our new reality are active, but we don't always pursue them. Books or music can be used to find joy and humor. Another suggestion is to do something that will make you feel better. Helping someone else can jump start that.
There was a large caveat before we hung up. Mount Sinai School of Medicine researchers put three groups of rats through a stress test, and found that aging affects the ability for experience- dependent spine plasticity. Dendritic spines protrude from a neuron and get input. They are lost when you are exposed to chronic stress. If you are a rat, the study concluded that the older you are, the harder it is to weather the negative effects of stress.
"Now that I'm an old rat, I'm hoping they didn't wait too long in the study and that they returned with time," he said.
Here is to hope for the old rats.
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