The couple dated for three years before getting married. His sister has been living in Florida since we started dating. I have a great relationship with his family, but I don't get to see his sister often. She lives in another state so we don't have a relationship. Social media is where most of what I know about her is found. The two of them are not very close according to my fiancée.
When we were in Florida we were going to meet up with his sister. We let her know that we were going to have a reservation for her to eat at a restaurant. Things opened up for me at this point. She didn't care about our time or our privacy. When we said we were doing something ourselves, she invited herself to everything we did. She wanted to get her boyfriend back with her parents. It got to a point where we had to say something to their parents who were trying to keep their sister calm.
If I wear a black dress, my mom won't attend. Which one is right?
My husband doesn't want me to go away. This is not normal.
I have wonderful relationships with two of my sisters and several of my friends. I do not have a relationship with my sister-in-law. On my wedding day, I want my friends and family to stand with me. I think she would be a liability and make my day because of her history. I spoke with my partner about it and he agreed with my decision. She would have a different role at the wedding. I know their parents will be upset, but I know they'd understand. She will not take it easy. I don't want my sister-in-law in our wedding party.
Those standing next to you should be the ones closest to you. It's not uncommon for a bridesmaid or groomsmen to be chosen out of obligation, pressure, or trying to do a favor. Asking friends and family to be a part of the wedding party is a way of thanking them for their support over the years. Being a part of a wedding party requires a lot of responsibilities. It is normal to not want someone who is close to you or confident in standing by you. There is no reason to doubt your choices since you and your fiancée are in agreement. Big decisions should be left to the two of you, even though his parents are sad for his daughter.
Who thinks this is okay? My friends invited my ex to join them.
Don't assume the worst of your fiancée's sister. She sabotaged your trip because she was a bit of a devil's advocate, but she could've seen this as the only chance to bond with you both. She is trying to create a relationship with you even though she is a long way from you. You don't have to be best friends with her, but looking at her actions more optimistically may make the relationship better.
It seems like you have a great plan for your wedding day and a nice way to include her still. If she is upset about it, sit down and have an open conversation with your fiancée and her. She will understand the decision if you handle the situation with kindness and transparency. I hope you have a great day.
Morgan Absher is an occupational therapist in Los Angeles who hosts a radio show called "Two Hot Takes" where she and her co- hosts give out advice. She shares her advice in a weekly column. She can be found on TikTok, Twohottakes and on the internet. If you would like to share your story with her, you can do so by clicking here.
I don't want my sister as a bridesmaid at my wedding. Is that not right?
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