Murphy was banned for 14 months for violating Covid rules.
He said he drank when he was happy and sad.
I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I didn't deal with it in the right way.
The Irishman contemplated quitting the sport after he was drinking "every day" at one point.
He said that it would spiral out of control again.
I blacked out every night for a week before the festival. When I blacked out early in the evening, I was fine the next morning, but I couldn't deal with the pressure and was ready to stop riding.
I dealt with it the same way I dealt with anything else - I got in the car with my driver and started drinking. I didn't know what my last drink would be that night.
Murphy said he was filled with embarrassment when he failed an alcohol test for the second time in his life, but it was that embarrassment that led him to seek help.
He said he weighed out as usual because there was no breathalyser when he pitched up. The BHA asked me to blow on a breathalyser after they found out I'd been drinking the night before. I was embarrassed.
I realized that my career was over if I didn't get my life in order.
When he was charged by the British Horseracing Authority, Murphy gave up his licence to seek help.
He faced five charges, two relating to failed tests for alcohol in May and October and separate counts of misleading or attempting to deceive the British Horseracing Authority over his location, as well as accessing a racetrack in a way that prejudiced the reputation of horse racing.
The Irishman went on a holiday to the Greek island of Mykonos, which was on the Covid red list at the time, but he tried to convince officials that he was in Italy.
I should have changed my plans when I booked the holiday because it was not on the red list. He said sadly that he didn't.
They had been told that I had been to Mykonos. They requested my bank and phone records over the course of the next few months. I had to tell them that I wasn't telling the truth.
I am suffering from the consequences of a huge mistake.
Murphy was unsure if he would be able to ride again when he was waiting for his hearing, as he knew he would have to be very hard on himself.
The suspension was backdated to December, when Murphy gave up his licence, meaning he can't get it back until February,23.
Murphy initially found it hard to serve his ban because of the busy life of a high-profile champion jockey.
I had to get to a point where I was happy and happy doing things. He said that he was fortunate to live at the bottom of the gallops and take the dog for a walk and buy groceries.
I didn't use social media for a while. I got back in the horse world and helped Andrew Balding a few times a week, and I ended up being happy doing normal things.
I feel like I don't have a normal life anymore, but I'm wanted and needed again and that's a nice way to be.
Murphy says he has a point to prove when he comes back to racing next year.
He wants to get back in the saddle and win races that he hasn't won before. I have yet to win the Prix de l' Arc de Triomphe.
I can't say how I felt last year. The majority of the days were low. I'm sober now and I want to stay that way. It's day by day.
I have to be sure that I'm still feeling this way when I come back to the saddle. I don't want to fail a breath test. I'm still going to AA because of that.
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