A woman wearing a skirt stands in front of a gate with mosaic details.
  • One-on-one coaching sessions for $500 are offered by New York City-based matchmaker Rori Sassoon.

  • We talked about my previous relationships and current dating goals.

  • I did not feel judged for keeping my dating life casual.

When Rori Sassoon, co- founder of Platinum Poire, offered me an hour of one-on-one dating advice and coaching, I thought, Why not?

People in the 30s, 40s, and 50s who can afford a $15,000 six-month membership can be found at Sassoon's business. She launched her coaching service May 1 because she wanted to expand her work to include younger people. For $500, a client gets an hour of Sassoon's time to discuss their dating history, current experience, and ultimate goals and how to achieve them.

I felt more confident to date on my own terms and with a bit more patience after my Zoom session, where Sassoon supported my choice to stay off dating apps.

First, the matchmaker asked about my dating history

Before my session, I filled out a short questionnaire about my past relationships.

She works with clients who have never been in a serious relationship, and others who have been married for 20 years, so the intake form helps her open those conversations and offer tailored advice.

I was asked if my previous relationship, which was almost 10 years long and ended 9 months ago, was one of the best romantic ones of my life. I said yes. We talked about how we had lived together, the qualities I liked about my ex, and the ways I wished our relationship could have been different.

I was worried that I would be judged for having barely any regrets about the dynamic my ex and I had, even though it was the best relationship of my life.

I felt like I was in control when I talked to Sassoon. It felt like a research project for improving my current dating life when I discussed my past.

She supported my decision to stay off dating apps and have casual sex

I was expecting Sassoon to say that my current approach to dating was not right.

Sassoon asked follow-up questions to better understand my mentality and the people I would mesh with on dates. She gave me two pieces of casual dating advice that I will keep in mind.

1. Do not compromise on your relationship values.

I told him I had trouble finding people who were compatible with me and who wanted to see me again. I wondered if I had been asking for too much after two matches ghosted me.

If I stuck to my values, I would benefit more in the long run.

I try to take a moment to feel sad about the lost connection when I notice that a match isn't respecting my time or transparent about their feelings.

2. Don't be obsessed with finding connections.

I told Sassoon I was hesitant to use dating apps again after I deleted them from my phone. I worried that I wouldn't have the chance to meet new people if I did.

Sassoon said I shouldn't be concerned because his entire business involves helping people get off apps.

She suggested that I change my mindset and focus on myself. She told me to take the time and energy I used to spend on dating apps and interact with real world instead.

People gravitate towards a positive and fun demeanor, and it is easier to embody that when you are enjoying life and trusting you will meet great people. She told me to tow the line between hunting and a match.

It felt like I was talking to a supportive and non-judgmental older sister

I left my session with confidence. After a few months of weariness about my prospects, it was refreshing to have an optimistic-yet- realistic conversation with her.

I think the fee would be better spent on a few therapy sessions.

When I started therapy for the first time, I thought about all the stories I'd been told about myself.

I am more sure of myself as a friend, sister, daughter, and lover because I did that work. Without therapy, my hour with Sassoon would not have held the same gravity.

I will take encouragement wherever I can get it because dating is hard work. The personal work that goes into dating is something that I should acknowledge.

The original article can be found on Insider.

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