Last Updated: 5/23/22 | May 23rd, 2022
I had these expectations in my head before I traveled in 2006 because of my imagination and popular culture.
My trip was going to be a lot of fun. Crazy things were going to happen to me. I would make friends everywhere. I would be talking to people on buses. Locals would invite me out for drinks. I would be sipping a latte, strike up a conversation with my beautiful waitress, and then the next thing I would know, we would be at a wine bar.
It was going to be like those articles I'd read. There is one scene after the next.
I went overseas.
I was in the hostel on the road and saw some amazing attractions in historic cities. I could do what I wanted. I was marching with my drum.
I set my daily schedule and did things myself.
I was so busy that I forgot I was alone. It was fine until it wasn't.
As the days wore on, I forgot what speech I was talking about. I began to crave interaction with people.
I was alone and in a bad way.
Aloneness had turned to loneliness.
The locals were supposed to show me around. I would spend nights out with cool travelers. I was no longer hiding my aloneness when I ran out of things to do.
I could move on to another city, hoping that the magic would happen there, that it was the destination's fault and not me.
It was me. You have to make it happen if you want life to happen to you.
I wasn't.
Fear was the only reason I was alone.
It isn't natural for me to just walk up to strangers and talk to them. It was true when I first started traveling. It takes a lot to overcome the urge to not talk.
I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to live the dreams I had in my head. I was going to have to make those dreams a reality.
People wonder if traveling alone means they will always be alone. How are they going to make friends? Is it hard?
For us to socializing who doesn't come naturally is a challenge. It's a lot easier than you think.
A lot of people are traveling alone.
People like you.
People are looking for an adventure.
People like interacting with others.
You are the other.
When people in my hostel started talking to me, I overcame being alone. They were the first to reach out. I was too afraid to break myself, so I sat there waiting for something to happen.
After they broke the ice, I realized that it was not as scary as I had thought. Travelers like me were looking for a friend.
Things rarely happen if you make them happen. You need to talk to yourself.
I had no problem meeting people once I learned that truth. I realized I was making a mountain out of a molehill after the travelers showed me how easy it was. There was nothing to fear. I had to say hello.
We all start off in the same boat, without friends, not speaking the language, and looking for people to spend time with. It is easy to make friends because everyone is like you.
That is the big secret. Being alone is nothing more to overcome than to say "hi" and get over it.
Start small and break out of your shell. You can talk to the person in your dorm room. Say hello. Ask them about themselves. They will respond. They will ask you about yourself.
You should do the same to other travelers. Walk over to the pool table in the hostel and ask, "Who is next?" You are!
There are many ways to meet people in the sharing economy. I'm sure you have a passion for something. People around the world have the same passion. You can find local groups on a website like Meetup.com. It's a great way to break the ice, as you have something to talk about, something you can speak excitedly on. It makes a connection.
You can try the website. It is also a place to find other travelers and like-minded people, and it has tons of meet-ups you can attend to find other travelers and like-minded people.
I found it hard to speak to others, but you either sink or swim on the road. I could either be alone or take the plunge and talk to people. I chose the latter.
Other travelers came up to me and said hello when I was sinking instead of swimming. I didn't have to because they made the first move.
Why? They understood that if they didn't do something, they would be alone.
Travelers are friendly. They want to meet new people.
You are one of those friends.
You are never alone on the road. There are a lot of people who will talk to you and invite you out.
Traveling alone doesn't mean you will be alone.
You will meet more people than you know what to do with this trait. There will be times when you wish you had a personal time.
There was never a reason to worry in the first place. You will never be alone again.
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