Mattel's Jeff Goldblum figure.

The best bare-chested toys and collectibles on the internet are included in this week's Toy Aisle. This week's toy news is irrelevant as, just like life, Mattel has found a way to bring us more Jeff Goldblum than we deserve. As you check it out, hold onto your butt.

Mattel Creations x Jurassic Park Chaos Theory Dr. Ian Malcolm Figure

There will always be room in our hearts for more interpretations of Jeff Goldblum as the sexy, bare-chested, broken-legged, over-memed Ian Malcolm from the originalJurassic Park, but everyone has given the world their interpretations.

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Next-Level Sound can be experienced.

Theater-like sound surrounds you with spatial audio with dynamic head tracking.

The Ian Malcolm figure in this onion is wrapped in a fake copy of the character's fictional book, God creates Dinosaurs, which makes occasional appearances in the film.

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You can find the tiny but posable four-inch figure, complete with leg splint, on a miniature diorama based on the control rooms inside theJurassic Park visitors center.

When the pre-order for the $25 figure goes up on May 23 at 12 p.m., fans of the movie will still be lined up. Through the website. They went the extra mile, adding lighting effects and a speaker that plays Ian Malcolm quotes whenever the figure is pressed.

Do you want more io9 news? Check out when to see the latest movies from Disney and Lucasfilm, what's next for the DC Universe on film and TV, and everything you need to know about House of the Dragon and Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power.