Jeff Bezos is not a poster

Photo by Andrew Liptak / The Verge

I am afraid I have to conclude that this man cannot post because I have had an alert on him for a while now.

It is difficult to believe how bad he is at posting. It's amazing. My guy probably workshops them, which is why they're DOA, emotionally. It fails by modern standards, even something like this, which is supposed to be loose.

25 years ago yesterday, AMZN went public. As the Grateful Dead would say, “What a long, strange trip it’s been.”



It’s been far from smooth. Lots of risk-taking, lots of invention, lots of mistakes, so much we still have to do better. I wouldn’t trade the ride for anything.

— Jeff Bezos (@JeffBezos) May 16, 2022

This is a Deadhead sticker on a car. It may have been lawyered after its PR speak. It is insincere (far from smooth). It is not funny.

Why is Bezos doing this? There is a very obvious answer, which is that Jeff Bezos is not at the center of a lot of conversations, and the way that Musk has placed himself at the center of those conversations is by posting on his account. This has been observed by Bezos. He doesn't really understand how Musk does it.

Musk is a poster. It is definitely a poster. He uses a direct line to his id. Is he going to follow up on any of the things he says on the internet? He is so entertaining because he frequently, no. He is responding to the CEO of the company he is trying to acquire.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 16, 2022

Musk is 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 888-349-8884 He stopped posting about his use of the drug, but I haven't forgotten about it.

A little red wine, vintage record, some Ambien ... and magic!

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 7, 2017

It was one time when Musk announced he was taking the company private on the social networking site.

Here, by comparison, is Bezos.

Agree 100%. Would add: Civility is hard. Name calling and ad hominem attacks are easy and when you use them it makes it harder to work together. https://t.co/6lqQJHm5vk

— Jeff Bezos (@JeffBezos) May 12, 2022

For those of you who are not on the social media platform fondly referred to as "the hellsite" by its most committed users, the dumbest users and the smartest users post the exact same. The power users have a tendency to have weak ideas and a strong propensity to troll.

It's important that trolling is done. The quote-tweet dunk is one of the major engagement mechanisms on the platform. This means that there is a lot of incentive for bad behavior. A stupid take that provides other users with an opening to dunk will drive engagement, but so will a good own. There isn't any incentive to be reasonable. I'm going to say it again, because this is a fundamental law of social media: there is no incentive to be reasonable.

This isn't an age thing either. One of the truest Posters I have ever encountered is Joyce Carol Oates, age 83, and I am not going to put her feet in it. The post about hiking in sandals drove discourse for a week. She didn't say anything about the movie or if we had to hand it to the terrorists. This woman is a legend.

Bezos is trying desperately to be taken seriously on a platform that doesn't reward being taken seriously. If you want to be the CEO of Twitter, you need to troll your way to a presidency. It's for pretending you think dinosaurs are extinct, watching some llamas get loose, or dealing with the most instinctive and primal discourse on the internet.

We have established how to Post, so let's look at some of the Bezos posts. Take this.

The newly created Disinformation Board should review this tweet, or maybe they need to form a new Non Sequitur Board instead. Raising corp taxes is fine to discuss. Taming inflation is critical to discuss. Mushing them together is just misdirection. https://t.co/ye4XiNNc2v

— Jeff Bezos (@JeffBezos) May 14, 2022

This is a joke. What is happening here? It isn't fun to be a dunk. It's certainly not a joke. What is the point? Since the year of our lord 2006, every user has discovered that it is hard to have a substantive conversation on the platform.

Being an ideas guy is an attempt at thinkfluencing. No one respects the ideas guys on social media. The VCs have figured it out better than this. Remember how proud they were of the shape rotator meme?

The attempt at thinkfluencing gets worse. Check this out.

In fact, the administration tried hard to inject even more stimulus into an already over-heated, inflationary economy and only Manchin saved them from themselves. Inflation is a regressive tax that most hurts the least affluent. Misdirection doesn’t help the country. https://t.co/a8cygcunEG

— Jeff Bezos (@JeffBezos) May 15, 2022

I am not sure how you can build a company that is the backbone of the internet without developing internet-related situational awareness. I thought he understood the internet before he started using it. It's dry and witty, and it understands what blogs are for, plus it's full of. It's the best possible response to someone trying to blackmail you.

I'm pretty sure it was written by a PR pro. The person who understood the internet well enough to produce this is not attempting to post serious policy takes on social media.

Bezos obsession with the Biden administration is a nice way of showing the problem. It used to be that responding to a Trump message was a great way to get people talking. The basic strategy of the Biden administration is to impersonate graduates of the school. Trying to use the Biden administration as a way to get more engagement.

Look, a squirrel! This is the White House’s statement about my recent tweets. They understandably want to muddy the topic. They know inflation hurts the neediest the most. But unions aren’t causing inflation and neither are wealthy people. Remember the Administration tried… pic.twitter.com/GaMb3Kiu72

— Jeff Bezos (@JeffBezos) May 16, 2022

Look, a squirrel! My God. Adam Aron didn't go pantsless during an interview for a video about a squirrel. AMC was the only one who survived the pandemic. Entertainers are serious if they are a business leader.

Bezos either doesn't know or doesn't care. Is he getting spicy?

Slide decks hide can shallow thinking. Narratively structured memos are harder to write because they require better thinking. It’s worth it. https://t.co/vIUX5I8QPl

— Jeff Bezos (@JeffBezos) May 13, 2022

I don't know if this is a hit on the McKinsey corner of Twitter, but this is not going to get you Musk-level attention. Bezos is writing for people. The audience was limited. It's likely that Bezos' tweets aren't getting the kind of traction that Musk's do, like how Blue Origin isn't as successful.

Maybe Jeff will try to use the internet from the bathroom.