Suns center Deandre Ayton is locked in at the Footprint Center in Phoenix on Monday.
He isn't thinking about his team's upcoming game against the Los Angeles Lakers or about his contract negotiations with the Suns. At the moment, the most pressing thing on his mind is which video game he will play first.
Ayton is a serious player. He has always had a best friend, a therapist, and his No. 1 fan. Ayton has been helped by the virtual community that gaming provides.
Ayton says he doesn't think he could live without the game.
In the middle of the Annexus Social Club, a lounge hidden in plain sight, Ayton stands with his controller in his hand, scanning the list of games he's about to play. Ayton has a gleam in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. NBA 2K22 is Ayton's go-to game.
In the lobby, Ayton selects from one of about 10 Deandre Ayton he has created. He enters a game looking for his headset to hear what his virtual teammates are saying.
I want these guys to talk.
Ayton dresses his player in a silver, shimmering suit, blinged-out jewelry that resembles his real-life pieces, black Crocs and a pair of purple googly-eyed glasses to walk around The Neighborhood. He pauses.
Wait, where is my tiger?
As a child, his mother gave him the nickname Tiger. There is a certain swagger and confidence about the computerized Deandre Ayton that feels vaguely familiar. On the NBA 2K court, the leader is a thrill-seeker who will try all the new moves that will either earn props from peers or send him back to the drawing board. In real life, Deandre Ayton is not afraid to follow his virtual doppelgnger. The dunks, the blocks and overall display of domination on the court -- he is averaging 18.6 points per game and 9.2 rebound per game this playoffs -- usually begin with practicing on his PS5.
It is almost like watching your favorite player and doing the same thing you see him do consistently or you see Kobe do the same fade. Ayton says you want to do that.
Watching Ayton play NBA 2K on the big screen is clear that he is a dedicated game player. Ayton always makes time for his son, Deandre Jr., and girlfriend, Anissa Evans, as he is the father of a 1-year-old. He will play NBA 2K for several hours every day. Ayton reached Legend status by reaching Level 40 for four seasons in the game. Ayton thinks he is the only NBA player to be a Legend.
Ayton says that he did it because he got a child.
Ayton usually wakes up around 6 a.m. after only two hours of sleep. After eating breakfast, he has time for a quick round of gaming. After talking trash and practicing moves on the virtual court, it is back home to finish. Ayton has time for video games on game days.
Ayton says it is hard for him to sleep after long games. Some of my friends are connected with me. I have brothers in the UK. I have family in Jamaica and the Bahamas. We talk during the game. We laugh about whoever we just beat up on. I am not going to sleep until 4 or 5 a.m. That is how serious it gets.
Since he was a child growing up in the Bahamas, video games have been a source of inspiration. He watched his older brother, Andrew, play and beat the hardest levels on most of the games he owned.
Ayton says that any game that was popping, they had it.
When Ayton was 11, his stepfather bought him a new console, but he would leave it behind for basketball. Ayton was at the Jeff Rodgers Basketball Camp on Monday. The scouts were at the family home to talk about their son.
The people around there saw his height. He looked like he was 16 but he was 11.
Ayton was going to move to the United States to play basketball. They chose the Balboa School. Ayton was grateful for the opportunity but didn't know how much work the program would be. He would receive a free education at the private school and be given the tools to grow his skills as a player but the program required a strict and rigorous schedule.
Ayton says that the program consisted of school, but he wasn't waking up at 5 a.m. to lift weights or run a track. We heard about free education. We don't hear labor. I'm like, hold on, what is this?
Ayton was alone in a new country. He says he was the target of bullies because of his height and accent. Maybe, worst of all, he didn't have a PS3 to connect with his family and friends online.
Ayton says that he was left out of the world because of his size and color. You feel like you want to belong, but kids don't want to hang out with you.
He was overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness and rejection. Ayton was not able to express his feelings back then, but now knows he was dealing with anxiety and depression.
Ayton says he would never wish that on anyone. Nobody sees your big heart. Nobody wants the heart. I had that at a young age where I didn't want to be here. I did not want to be here.
I'm not no console. I don't have anything around this mug. Is there a video game, nothing? A basketball. That is it. Basketball and books. He says it was difficult, but he only got serious with basketball. I had nothing but basketball and it was my own outlet to have fun.
It was difficult for his mother as well.
There were times when he said that he was tired. I told him that things would be better, and he listened. He was a brand-new person after the conversations. It was difficult. There were a lot of tears and disappointment. The stress was real.
Ayton's mother moved to America to be closer to her son after he became a force on the hardwood. Ayton received a new PS4 from his host family. Ayton told anyone who would listen that he had lost touch with friends and family in three years. His community was back.
Ayton says that he cared for that PS4 every day.
During high school, Ayton told anyone who would listen that he was going to be a big basketball star. He was going to make it.
Ayton says they thought he was talking the most s**t ever.
Ayton kept in touch with some of his best friends from the Bahamas. Others were total strangers who were laughing at a delusional teenager who was talking about being the top-ranked 10th graders in the country and his dreams of becoming a top draft pick in the NBA.
While some continued to take Ayton's dreams lightly, there were two people from his home country who listened to him and encouraged his dreams, Recarno Nixon and Joshua Russell.
Ayton says he remembers it like it was yesterday. I will be the first pick in the draft. I will make sure you are with me.
The time had come for his future plans to become a reality. The center out of Arizona was the top pick by the Suns.
Ayton kept his word.
Ayton says it was the first time he met that man.
Ayton was able to endure the most difficult parts of his basketball career because of his gaming community. In his freshman year of college, his name was mentioned in the FBI's federal corruption investigation into college basketball, which included the University of Arizona. In a wiretap recording of a telephone call between Christian Dawkins and Munish Sood, Dawkins alleged that Sean Miller had a deal to ensure the signing of Ayton. Dawkins was found guilty of conspiracy and bribe taking. Miller and Ayton denied the claims.
Ayton was an NBA rookies and leaned on gaming. The Suns finished last in the Western Conference after winning only 19 games.
Ayton says that he wasn't used to losing. I was stressed out because we lost man and the guys told me, "You got 81 more to go."
Ayton played NBA 2K. He could redeem himself in the game if his team couldn't win.
There was hope for the next season. Ayton averaged 16.3 points and 10.3 boards. Fans were looking forward to his sophomore season. In the season opener, Ayton had 18 points, 11 rebound and 4 blocks as the Suns defeated the Kings.
On the day after Ayton learned he had violated the league's anti-drug policy, the joy and anticipation for the season dissipated. His suspension was 25 games.
The worst time to play NBA 2K was during the suspension, according to Ayton. I chose to play a basketball game that followed everything about the NBA and went to the devil's pit. I don't want to say the lion's den. I got bashed every day I played the game.
Twenty-five.
Deandre should be working out.
Why did he get suspended?
Ayton says that he is hearing all of that. I do not give a damn. Everyone will see me in the game. Being in the video game and suspension is like being in the middle of a hundred people yelling at you. Go to the gaming world if you think you are good at it. People will tell you about your ass.
Ayton's time spent playing video games increased from four to five hours each day. The NBA season was suspended indefinitely after Ayton returned from his suspension.
Ayton could handle the uncertainty more than most players. He would spend time away from his girlfriend when he rejoined his team after he learned he and his girlfriend were expecting their first child. He was concerned, but he had his games.
Ayton says that dudes weren't used to that. You could tell they were crazy in there. They did not know what to do. People are trying to enjoy the weather. It will be the same view. You will not see anything else but the pond. I am going to enjoy myself while playing the game and talking a lot of trash. That game saved my life.
Ayton used to kill zombies in World War Z.
Ayton says that he plays World War Z and gets spooked. It gets very frightening. They are loud, ugly and you have to eliminate them.
Ayton has a controller in his hand and displays a different type of focus. He is strategic with his skills. Ayton has to think on his feet when zombies are in other zones. Ayton makes sure his character is the one to make it out alive.
Ayton says that he is competing with people that hate him. No. I want to prove you wrong.
Ayton has dominated the playoffs. He is one of the league's hottest playoff shooters, as the Suns are up 3-2 on the Dallas Mavericks in the Western Conference semifinals. Ayton's 20 points in Game 5 were the second-most by a Suns player in franchise history, and he shot 60% from the field.
Ayton says she is feeling confident.
His future in Phoenix is not certain. The contract extension discussions with Ayton ended without an agreement. He isn't worried about where he will end up.
He says that it is just the game, that you have to take care of business in order to get what you want.
Ayton uses video games to stay grounded while leaning on his family. Ayton shares a room with his girlfriend and son. Ayton Jr. plays basketball with toys on the hotel room floor. Anissa is watching. Deandre is relaxing while Dominayton is in control of the court. Deandre is at peace.
Gaming keeps me level-headed. I will never lose that thing. Right now, like on the road. Ayton says that it is just a load off where he can just play the game and chill out. That keeps my head clear so I can play this sport.