The bond between children and dogs is special.

For children, dogs can be anything from playmates and partners in crime to teachers and sources of comfort. Like any new relationship, there is a learning curve.

Without a proper understanding of how to interact with dogs, children might inadvertently provoke them, which could lead to a bite or attack. Even the gentlest of dogs have bad days and only so much patience if a toddler pulls on their tail.

According to a certified animal behavior consultant, people would call to surrender their dog because of incidents with children. She founded Family Paws to provide specialized programs and support for new and expecting parents with dogs.

Shryock believes that the more information people are given, the more comfortable they are with dogs.

The right way for kids to pet dogs is more than just a lesson from a parent. It is something that all dog owners should know. Here is what you need to know about teaching dog safety to kids.

1. Ask permission and don't assume the answer will be "yes"

Teaching children how to pet dogs is about consent. It starts with asking for permission, but experts have some questions about who you should be asking for permission from.

Daniel Caughill, co-founder of The Dog Tale, said that when introducing a new dog to a child, always ask the owner for permission first. Some rescue dogs have had rough past experiences that cause them to act aggressively toward children, so you want to make sure that isn't the case.

Kevin Ryan, professional dog trainer of Superb Dog, says it is always better to have someone you know and trust, since even the most honest and caring dog owner may not know how their dog will react to your child.

If the dog owner does not have children of their own and has never had issues with adult friends and family petting the dog, a child could be a new experience for the dog and you don't want to be the one discovering how they will react. Ryan said it was best if the dog was used to being around children.

Shryock says asking to pet a stranger's dog is too risky because you're making a lot of assumptions about that person.

She doesn't think approaching unfamiliar dogs is a good idea. Shryock says she prefers to suggest that her dog loves to show tricks, which is a contact-free alternative.

2. Observe the dog's body language 

The next step is to study the dog's body language for signs of being nervous or uncomfortable. If the dog moves away, pins back their ears, or otherwise looks frightened, it is time to back off, said Megan Marrs, a dog.

Shryock tells kids that it is a detective and looking for clues.

It's important to gather all possible clues because different dogs show different things, so just observing their face or tail might not tell the whole story.

Activity sheet featuring drawing of an uncomfortable dog and area for making notes about its body language

Family Paws uses activity sheets like this to teach kids what to look for. As the caption describes, this dog is clearly uncomfortable: "The ears are back, whale eye (white of the eye visible), tail is low, and the dog is doing a large lip lick. This dog is also leaning in the opposite direction from where it is looking (avoidance/ leaning away). This dog appears to be experiencing considerable stress and may be communicating a need for space." Credit: Family Paws

There are some warning signs to look out for.

  • If a dog yawns, blinks, squints or licks their lips, it means that they want to be left alone. Julia Jenkins, a professional dog trainer and founder of Pet Dog Training Today, said that if the dog turns their head away or turns their body away, it is a sign that they want you to stop petting them.

  • If the dog is lifting up their lips, their hackles go up, or the tail is low, stay away. The dog is unhappy.

Shryock says to "believe what you're seeing." That may sound obvious, but some people think they're the exception to the rule. If you are not their trusted person, that is not your role.

3. Invite the dog over 

If you don't see any warning signs, the next step is to invite the dog over. If you invite the dog to you, you give them the chance to not approach the dog.

Shryock says you can give kids alternatives to petting if the dog opts out.

Image of father and young girl with her hand extended out towards a beagle who is holding its paw out towards her.

Inviting the dog empowers them to opt in or out. Credit: Getty Images

4. Pat/pet, pet, pause

The next step is to start petting the dog with an approach called "pat/pet, pet, pause." This is about waiting to see if the dog wants to continue engaging.

Marrs calls it "pat, pet pause" since he refers to it as an invitation for the dog to approach. If the dog looks at you, leans towards you, or noses at you, you should have at it. If the dog moves away, or even if he does nothing, we can take that as a no, thanks.

Image of father and young girl sitting on a chair petting a dog who is sitting and faced towards them.

Always be checking if the dog continues to want to be engaged. Credit: Getty Images

It is important to keep an eye on the dog at all times, as he can change his comfort level at any time.

5. Teaching kids the right way to pet

It is important to teach kids how not to pet first since these rules are universal to most dogs and not following them could be dangerous.

  • Don't make sudden movements or sneak up from behind, tell your child to remain calm and quiet. Ryan said that dogs get excited by both sound and movement.

  • Humans make eye contact to show respect, but dogs may see it as a threat. Getting too close to their face is the same thing.

  • Don't pet their head, having a stranger put their hand up and over one's head can be scary for dogs. Marrs said that imagine if a giant did that to you.

  • Hopefully, this one is pretty obvious, don't pull their ears or tails.

  • Do you know that dogs don't like hugs? Dogs feel trapped and vulnerable when you wrap your arms around them.

Image of father and young boy sitting on the ground petting a golden retriever who is happy and relaxed

Clearly, this is a happy dog. Credit: Getty Images

The experts recommend petting the dog under the chin, chest, neck, or side shoulder. There are areas where the dog can see the child.

Shryock points out that the dog is an individual living creature that has feelings and emotions and has opinions.