Tom Hanks is still doing alright, but he’s using way too much Vegemite


Well, it’s been a couple days, so it’s time for our regular update on how Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson are doing since testing positive for the coronavirus. Last time we checked in, Hanks was reminding his social media followers to protect themselves and others by listening to the advice of experts. He also reminded everyone that “there is no crying in baseball,” which was kind of oddly sweet. Today, Hanks offered a much less substantial update on his condition, offering instead a little nod of appreciation to the people of Australia who are taking care of him and Wilson. He did this with a photo of Vegemite on toast (the traditional Australian meal) with little kangaroo and koala toys (the traditional animal toys of Australia) and a glass of water (the traditional binding of hydrogen and oxygen of Australia). It’s nothing special, but it’s good to know he’s hanging in there and sharing playful photos.

Well, unless you’re actually from Australia, because those people have all come to a consensus about something that Hanks is doing wrong: He’s using way too much Vegemite. Hanks, being a boorish American, covered his toast in the black goop as if it were a delicious American topping like grape jelly (which, to be fair, is just purple goop). Apparently, as all of the Australians in the comments to Hanks’ post pointed out, Vegemite is best when used sparingly and with plenty of butter. Though “best” might even be overselling it… maybe “most tolerable” would be better.

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Also, because this is the internet, some people are questioning whether or not the photo is fake because it looks like the glass of water is intersecting with the plate, but we’re dealing with too much right now to really unpack that or any of the other conspiracy theories that have begun trickling into this thing.