Bradley Cooper is single now, which is news I will only truly find interesting if he and the suspiciously also recently-single Lady Gaga run off together to become a pair of roving sexy cabaret singers, or, better, to live out the rest of their days on a very private island stocked only with sexy pianos. But for those of you who do find delight and/or despair in this story, the tabloids would like you to know that Single Cooper has left his house at least once.
Indeed, according to Page Six, Cooper, who broke up with longtime partner Irina Shayk just last week, had a wild Monday night:
The 44-year-old actor, who just split from girlfriend Irina Shayk after four years of dating, was seen at celebrity hot spot the Sunset Tower Hotel in Los Angeles on Monday night with a few male friends. He was there for a little under two hours.
And it gets spicier:
An eyewitness told Entertainment Tonight on Tuesday that Cooper arrived at the famed venue with wet hair.
Never forget that Bradley Cooper is a wild man who laughs in the face of potential scalp fungi.
“He looked really upbeat and chill, as if he didn’t have a care in the world,” the source said. “He didn’t appear to be stressed or sad.”
Who could be stressed and/or sad, with the promise of a private Gaga piano sex island on the horizon? No one, that’s who. Thus concludes our CooperWatch segment of the day, thank you for your time and attention.
Can someone please buy Brad Pitt some new clothes?
Truly, I have less of an issue with Pitt wearing the same outfit all week, as I myself have been wearing the same pair of jeans for four days straight and I do NOT intend to change them up anytime soon. A capsule wardrobe is a blessing.
What concerns me, though, is that Pitt has chosen to wear a bad outfit all week. So, I repeat, buy him some new clothes. And please burn the hat.
- Mindy Kaling says she wants to tell her daughter about her paternity before revealing it to the public, which certainly seems fair. 
- The internet is and always was a mistake. 
- Apparently Keanu Reeves is now being praised for never touching women in photographs. 
- Justin Bieber bought a new motorcycle, presumably so he can scoot himself away from Tom Cruise when he realizes what hell he’s wrought. [TMZ]