President Bill Pullman wants us to wear our \


As far as fake presidents go, we’ve gotta say: We prefer Bill Pullman to the one who’s currently in the White House. (We would also have accepted Dave, from Dave.) Not only does Pullman-and, by association, fighter jet pilot President Thomas Whitmore- seem like a pretty nice guy, but he also seems to have a much better stance on things like wearing masks in the time of COVID than some other FAUXTUSes we could name. Which is to say, he thinks we should actually wear them, a stance outlined in the below PSA he recently recorded for the Alamo Drafthouse.

And look: Is it corny that Pullman refers to them as “freedom masks”? Maybe. But no cornier than flying his own fighter jet to blow up a bunch of planet-harvesting aliens, or giving a big speech about how cool it is that now everybody on the planet will get to celebrate July 4 together. Bill Pullman is just kind of corny, which, it’s turning out, is pretty low on the list of sins a fake president can commit. (Even if he does share a somewhat worrying obsession with our current one with monuments being destroyed.)