By the way: Humor is a great way for a lot of people to cope with depression and anxiety, but if you found a lot of things in this post a little too relatable, you might want to look into ways to take care of yourself. So, here are some quick resources, just in case:
You can learn more about starting therapy, since pretty much everyone can benefit from talking to a professional, or get some ideas for self-care.
And if you need to talk to someone immediately, you can speak to someone by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and or by texting HOME to 741741, the Crisis Text Line. And here are suicide helplines outside the US.