Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Tags Humor

Tag: humor

Trump’s Calls to Manafort Going Straight to Voice Mail

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-Donald J. Trump placed "a large number" of phone calls to his former campaign manager Paul Manafort on Friday morning,...

Trump Furious That Woodward’s Book Is Written at Seventh-Grade Reading Level

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-Donald J. Trump obtained an advance copy of Bob Woodward's new book Monday evening and was "furious" to discover that...

Nation Stunned That There Is Someone in White House Capable of...

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-Millions of Americans were startled by the revelation on Wednesday afternoon that there was someone working in the Trump White...

Trump Says He Heroically Avoided Capture in Vietnam by Staying in...

AMES, IOWA ( The Borowitz Report)-Presidential candidate Donald Trump revealed a little-known episode of personal heroism from his youth on Saturday, telling an Iowa...

Pence Asks Jesus to Rapture Him Up Before Mueller Can Indict...

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-Vice-President Mike Pence has requested that Jesus Christ rapture him up before the special counsel Robert Mueller can indict him,...

F.B.I. to Special-Order Pair of Tiny Handcuffs

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-The Federal Bureau of Investigation is special-ordering a pair of "tiny handcuffs," an F.B.I. spokesman confirmed on Wednesday.The spokesman, Harland...

Michael Cohen Pleads Guilty After Giuliani Offers to Be His Lawyer

NEW YORK ( The Borowitz Report) -Michael D. Cohen decided on Tuesday to plead guilty to a host...

White House on Lockdown After Television Is Hurled Out Window

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-The White House was on lockdown Thursday morning after a television was hurled out of a window, the Secret Service...

Trump Says White House Is No Place for Lying Lowlife from...

BEDMINSTER, New Jersey ( The Borowitz Report)-Blasting his former colleague Omarosa Manigault, Donald J. Trump said on Monday that "the White House is no...

Pence Calls Space Force Necessary to Protect U.S. from Gay Aliens

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-Making a major announcement at the Pentagon on Thursday, Vice-President Mike Pence said that the proposed United States Space Force...