Sunday, December 16, 2018
Tags Humor

Tag: humor

Trump Suddenly Expresses Deep Concern About Conditions in Nation’s Prisons

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-In a sudden departure from his previous views on incarceration, Donald J. Trump said on Monday that he was "very,...

Trump Names TV Remote New Chief of Staff

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)-Having been turned down by several previous choices for the job, Donald J. Trump broke with tradition on Monday by picking...

Heather Nauert Says Visit to

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-Pushing back against criticism of her lack of diplomatic experience, Donald J. Trump's choice to be the next United States...

Iraq Offers to Help Establish Democracy in North Carolina

BAGHDAD ( The Borowitz Report)-The government of Iraq announced on Tuesday that it would seek to build an international coalition to establish democracy in...

Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans

MINNEAPOLIS ( The Borowitz Report)-Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life,...

Mueller Offers Cyber Monday Plea Deals

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-Robert Mueller's announcement that he would be offering Cyber Monday plea deals touched off hysteria among disgraced Trump associates desperate...

Trump Refuses to Pardon White House Turkey After Accusing It of...

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-In a startling break with Thanksgiving tradition, Donald J. Trump refused to pardon the White House turkey after claiming that...

Trump Warns That Florida Recount Could Set Dangerous Precedent of Person...

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-Calling for an "immediate end" to the recount in Florida, Donald J. Trump warned on Monday that it could set...

Rick Scott Accuses Democrats of Trying to Thwart G.O.P.’s Successful Voter...

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA ( The Borowitz Report)-In a hastily called press conference on Thursday evening, Florida Governor Rick Scott accused Democrats of nefariously plotting to...

Kavanaugh Disappointed to Discover Supreme Court Has No Happy Hour

WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)-In a setback for the newest Associate Justice on his first day at work, Brett Kavanaugh said on Tuesday that...