Cara Delevingne has spoken out about her teenage battle with depression. The model-turned-actress sought help after a breakdown when she was 15.
Growing up, she says she felt “something dark” inside her, and that being a late bloomer made her feel worse. She also felt the pressure in achieving high grades more than most, saying that she never felt “good enough”.
“I felt alienated and alone, because I was like, what’s wrong with me? I always wanted people to love me, so I never got angry with them; I turned my anger onto myself,” she told Net A Porter’s The Edit.
“I hated myself for being depressed, I hated feeling depressed, I hated feeling,” she said. “I was very good at disassociating from emotion completely. And all the time I was second-guessing myself, saying something and then hating myself for saying it. I didn’t understand what was happening apart from the fact that I didn’t want to be alive anymore.”
However, she has since learnt methods in which to make herself happy and is in a much better place now.
“I know it sounds really stupid, but I relied too much on love, too much on other people to make me happy, and I needed to learn to be happy by myself,” she said. “So now I can be by myself, I can be happy. It took me a long time.”
This month, Delevingne will release her first ever work of fiction, Mirror, Mirror, which focuses on a group of a teenage girls coming of age.