27 Priceless Tweets About Life As A Married Person


Marrying the love of your life is a beautiful gift. And sometimes that gift can also be a colossal pain in the butt.

To that end, we’ve gathered 27 tweets that accurately and hilariously capture the realities of married life.

  • friend: What’s one thing marriage has taught you?
    me: If you walk into the house eating a candy bar you better have one for her too

    – Josh (@iwearaonesie) November 11, 2017

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  • *wife is out of town*

    Do I dare leave the toilet seat up?

    *looks around and shrugs*

    Screw it. This is my house.

    *falls into toilet at 3AM*

    – Gorilla Von Nips (@GorillaNipples1) November 11, 2017

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  • Husband: We should go to Costco.

    Me [still in pajamas]: So I should change?

    H: I said Costco, not Walmart.

    Me:*puts on nicer pajamas*

    – EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) July 1, 2017

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  • [IKEA]
    *wife wonders where I am*
    *hears glass break*
    *knows where I am*

    – Josh (@iwearaonesie) November 20, 2017

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  • H: why is the heat turned up so high in here?
    Me: so I can sleep with a fan on.

    – she’s unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) December 1, 2017